The last time I checked in I didn't have a clue on how I was going to revive myself.


Since then i've been a lot busier. Filling up my schedule with work, nights out with the girls, pampering myself, and most importantly thinking about what is going to get me moving forward. So often there are moments alone where a chance could be taken to let myself fall and mourn about how alone I have been. These missed opportunities have passed only for the best.

Though living on a tight schedule has got me going in the direction I want to be in, it has also worn me down. There are still nights where lonely creeps near, but I have enough strength to keep sadness a little more distant.

My heart ache tells me I want someone near. Yet, all this hard work to get out of Surrey and move to Vancouver is only going to make me as far as possible. At least to everyone that has been close with me for the last few months.


Secretly, I want to get on a plane and never come back. Secretly, I want something more than just a friendship. Secretly, I don't know what the hell i'm doing.


Looks like I need to do some more thinking. I'll check back in sooner than later.


omw to finding Peace & Happiness.



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I invested so much of myself in someone else. Now that that someone else is gone, i'm only what is left of what I haven't invested in.


nts: Don't do that again.

Find love within yourself. That's what Cas needs to do.