|Like an unfinished book|

okay..

2 songs







Guess i'll start with CONFUSED, because thats what I am. When you do things like THIS, then I feel like i'm being pushed away and makes me want to quit, but when you do things like THAT, I know that everythings going to be okay and i'm happy with where everything is. And then theres also the OTHER THING you do, and it makes me feel like I do want this but theres no hope.


I'll start with THAT. You've been doing things like that for some time now, and thats when i've been feeling so secure, so happy, so good like that 1st time feeling and so perfect. Everything was all good when you do things the way you did. But then you started doing things like this..

And now its making me think. Think about all the little "what if..", "am i..." or "but then.." arguments in my head. When you do things like this I think that maybe i'm Doing To Much. Then I start thinking of the other options, and how i really think i feel. Like when im with you I feel like i dont want to let go but it hurts to stay, and when im without you its so easy to think of just leaving because i feel as if im the only one keeping this going. When you do the things like THIS I get angry and think of those kind of things and i feel as if its so easy to be Fallin Out. Then after you do things like this and were in person, it becomes that OTHER THING.


Were there, physically in person, just hanging out. Youre doing that OTHER THING, and i know i have no conrtol. Thats where it hurts the most. The whole time its been your choice, your decission, your word, your say, your control. Ive done my part, and thats all i can do. And with the way youve been doing things, i have no clue with whats going on or how all of this is going to end up, and i get so scared. So scared to loose you.


I dont want to but i think im slowly Fallin out.



¿ what is this ?

winter breaks been busy; time to blog..

CHRISTmas eve
woke up, exchanged gifts at jels, home, got ready, took a nap, got re-ready, went to cousins place, went back home, ate dinner (w/dad, ate, kuya, & felicia), opend dads gift, chilled, went back to cousins place, slept at moms.

CHRISTmas day
woke up, went back to sleep, woke up, ate came, woke up kuya, opend moms gifts, ate, chilled, went home, got ready, ate dinner at moms, went to cousins, partied, went home.

CHRISTmas aftermath (boxingday)
got my early wake up call, got ready a.s.a.p, skytrained to lougheed, bussed to coquitlam centre, SHOPPED w/jamiejane brianchester & dyankyle, boothpics!, chilled at jamies, headed to metro, then downtown, got him a better christmas gift, headed home.

it was good to chill with my cousins like before. now that jamie can drive, haha things are getting a little better, and more like they used to be. it wont be soon before long by the time i'll be driving and out on the streets. "watch out, jamie's on the road" haha! good stuff.

why is everything going so perfect right now? just the right amout of down sides, and the right amount of up rights. i really needed this winter break. with what i've been going through just before the break, i think i deserve this. im happy with where everything is at right now. lets not jinx it...

new years resolution?
-no more rebellious actions
-no more hate
-no more wrongs
-MORE good

STILLTOBUYlist:
-notebook
-petertaylor shirt
-one more dunny
?


LOVESHERSELF.

do you know?
beacause i don't?

I should just never think again...

Yeah cause thats gonna happen.

s-t-you-p-i-d

making it harder on myself.

Noo more, no more.