Friday; Trying to weigh out the pessimistic side of life

The hardest part of the day now is getting out of bed. I don't know exactly why this is but that's just the way it goes. But today was harder than usual. Last night wasn't a nightmare. It was, just unreal. I woke up feeling so shtty that I didn't even want to go to school. I knew that I would feel even worse if i didn't go, so i went anyways.

I was supposed to get in early to finish up an assignment that i needed to hand in. The time it would have taken me to walk to the bus stop wait and get to school would be the same amount of time it would have taken me to walk the whole way. So i saved myself a dollar seventy-five and took a nice walk in the morning cold. It was actually starting to wash away my morning shtty feeling. But i still felt pretty bad.

Worked on my assignment before 1st bell rang, and went through BLK.A finishing up the same assignment. I got it finished on time to hand in for BLK.B. English wasn't as bad as it usually was. I actually don't remember what we did in class, but at least it wasn't bad enough for me to remember, thats the only part that matters. Humm, my memory seems to be getting worse. I'm starting to forget things much easier :( . As i was saying, english was alright.

Here we go, LAW; CHAPTER 5/6 TEST. I was not as prepared as i wanted to be, so i took the time to lock myself in the library during the lunch period to study and take some notes. Luckily for me it actually Helped. I believe there were only 2 questions that i had guessed on, so i am almost certain that i'll be getting an A. It was getting closer to the end of the day, but even with the day being filled with things to do I was some how unfortunate, but able to remember the shtty feeling that started my day.

With all the extra little zone out moments i had to myself all i would think of is how am i going to fix it this time? Till an hour ago i still had no clue. I wouldn't have figured it out if you didn't call.

I really wasn't expecting a call from you anytime soon by the way things ended the night before. All i knew was that like trying to get sober, this dilemma needed time. But i guess it just really needed productive use of time. You thought things through more genuinely than i have. As if my brain had hit a wall and made like it was in "writers block".

I have to say, i really look up to you for making the call on this one. I wasn't expecting you to be as civil as you are. I understand that you are doing better with making your decisions based on what will work best, rather than letting your rage of emotions decide for you at the moment. You're really making things more clear for the both of us. And it really helped take a load of my shoulders, probably more than you think.

I still have the right to feel shtty, but you being the bigger man about things are making me want to feel shtty in a good way. I know it kind of contradicts itself, but thats the best way to explain it right now.

You've said it before, but I want to say it this time...

"[You] got [me]"

you really do.