i've hurt myself by hurting you

You don't understand. I'm trying to figure out what i want, and what i don't want, but its so much harder than you think. I know i don't want to do certain things cause i feel that you don't deserve that from me. Though i want to, i hold back, or just "run away from it." I do these things, cause i don't want to hurt again. I know thats what the outcome will be if i get weak, so i try to stay strong, and hold back, but you & i both know its hard. Understand that, cause you should already know.

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