No more

first and foremost, i want to say that i need a major update. but times not on my side at the moment so i got to put that aside for now.

So here it is. Yeah, this is no more. Not saying that i want this. I don't want it to be like this. I want it to be the exact opposite. But forces aren't going to let that happen. I never wanted it to be going down this road, but here i am walking and trying to hard not to look back. I still do and i let little things slide by and excuse some circumstances, but i guess i shouldn't be. You know it too, that's why you do the things you do. Its better that your not letting me in. Even though i wish you would, i'm glad you don't. I fully understand the situation. The way I'm handling it though is another story. Been strong enough to save that roll of toilet paper i would have wasted and bathed in while i slept. Been strong enough to bite my tongue instead of say all the things running through my mind. Been strong enough to keep going with my daily routines with out letting myself get sidetracked by this dilemma running through the back of my mind, and the bottom of my heart. Happiness wont come in on its own. I got to let it in and not block it out with this "lock of problem" i hold the key to. I really hope you know why i did this. Why i'm doing this. I don't want this, but its just how it has to be, unless we really want to keep sinking into this mess of re-runs. Cause if we kept going we'd be locked in infinity. We both know that. Well at least i think we do...

I do miss "[that] type love" (shihan). Remember when you showed me that? And that time you also showed me "every woman." back when things were simple, things were sweet, things were happy. That was then. This is now, and that's what i miss. Or or remember when your parents gave us that talk in their room? Or even when you picked me up every morning before school. Or how about that time "CitySand" was born. Damn.. okay okay i got to stop, i know. Okay hold up, last one...
When people used to ask us how we made our relationship look so good. No drama, no stress. PDA was set at perfect pace. People envied our relationship. We held it down, you got me, and i got you. Or had..

But no more. We know our place. We're friends. We're good. I got to understand that meaning of friendship and hope i don't cross any lines. Haha it happens when you let your feelings get carried away. This is whats right, and what has to be done.

Still do
Hate you.