look into your soul.. what kind of person you really are

H. "..and you have this sort of feeling that they can see into your soul... and I hate that"

J. "Now they see into your soul?"

H. "Don't you feel like animals look into your soul? Like an animal can see what kind of person you really are?"



I was watching Jay Leno the other day and Hugh Laurie (the central character of "House") was being interviewed. They came across talking about a photo shoot he had with a python and how he was creeped out by this animal looking into his soul. It got me wondering what if we could see into peoples souls. Just straight up see what kind of person they really are. No make up, no designer clothes, no nothing to cover up and mislead ones perspective of how this person they are looking at really is. Being able to see all of this just by looking into their window to their soul; their eyes.


Maybe we can see what kind of a person someone really is. Possibly not exact, but relatively close. I say this with first hand experience. This brings me to a day where Gino and I had an encounter for practice. He knew what was going on in my life at the moment, so he knew I was in a lot of frustration and anger and sadness at the time. But the next time we saw each other my life was turning around and everything was getting better. He knew everything was better because he saw it in my eyes and on my face. I got into his car and he said "Oh my gosh you're glowing". I didn't wear any special make up nor did I do anything to my hair, he just saw that I was happy again. There was also a time where almost the exact same thing happened but with Karl, and in this situation he didn't know what was going on in my life. He just said what he saw...





This also reminds me of another time in Toronto with Kelvin. We were at the park waiting for a tennis court to open, when we saw a pregnant woman and her husband already setting up and playing. And Kelvin said to me "wow she's at that stage where she's just glowing". She was big like any other woman going through pregnancy would be, but she really did just have this natural, enlightening glow to her.

What kind of person I really am..
-I was honestly getting sick of hip hop. Everything started sounding like T-pain, or hip-pop, or hip-hop with a mix of rock/punk/house/techno.. I wasn't triggered with excitement when "hip hop" would play like I used to feel. I used to feel this immediate urge to bob my head to the beat, and moves would come out of me like each lyric and beat was the control centre for my bodies movement. That kind of hip hop made me dance, no questions asked, it just did. I was getting sick of hip hop till I heard Blue Print numero tres. Thank you Shawn Carter.


-I like wearing almost nothing. When I'm at home, and it's room temperature on a nice day I enjoy giving my body freedom. Letting my legs move without friction within short shorts or flowy skirts kind of limits. Also giving my arms the ability to indulge in the sunlight that the windows let in. And my upper body covered only by a top that lets the air breeze in and out as it pleases.



-I love falling in love.


-I am falling in love with jazz pianist because it has no limits, nor construction to how a song must be played out. It tells an unpredictable story that you can only hear as it is being played. It moves me physically and emotionally. I swear when I started listening to it, I feel in love. It really took over my body and emotions and gave me this positive Ora and directed my mind to be optimistic. Doing anything while listening to jazz just makes life a little more care-free. Like nothing even matters; just do what is in the moment. It has become another little source of therapy.

-I'm constantly missing my boyfriend and finding so many things that pop up into my life that relates to him. Walking to work I see a little boy and his father taking him to hockey practice, driving around I see "king Edwards" everywhere, at home watching TV Jay Leno is on, and I almost NEVER watch him. There are so many things that go on through out the day its hard not to have You on my mind.

________

But maybe this is all supposed to happen. Maybe these things show up because I'm supposed to miss you because it makes me have these stronger feelings that can only be healed by your love which definitely makes me happy. I believe that everything happens for a reason...


I quote:

"Sometimes people come into your life
and you know right away that they were meant to be there,
they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson
or help figure out who you are or who you want to become.
You never know who these people may be;
your roommate, your neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover
or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them,
you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you
and at the time they seem horrible, painful and unfair,
but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles
you would never have realized your potential, strength, will power of heart.
Everything happens for a reason.
Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck.
Illness, injury, love, lost moments or true greatness and sheer stupidity
all occur to test the limits of the soul.

Without these small tests,if they be events, illnesses or relationships,
life would be like a smooth paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.
Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life and successes and down
falls you experience, they are the ones who create who you are.
Even the bad experience can be learned from...Those lessons are the hardest and probably the most important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them,
for they have helped you learn about trust
and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.
If someone loves you,love them back unconditionally,
not only because they love you,
but because they are teaching you to love
and opening your heart and eyes to things
you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count.
Appreciate every moment
and take from it everything that you possibly can,
for you may never be able to experience it again.
Talk to people you have never talked to before,
and actually listen,let yourself fall in love,
break free and set your sights high.
You can make of your life anything you wish.
Create your own life and then go out and live it!"
-Craig Lock



Life is no coincidence. Everything that happens in our lives happens because they are supposed to happen. They are destine to happened. Ever since "The Big Bang" we've all been following these strings which are "infinite decimal vibrating loops of energy" (a.k.a. the STRING THEORY)

The STRING THEORY explained by Grissom:
(on my favorite show CSI LasVegas)


If I believe that everything is supposed to happen for a reason, then it makes life's obstacles more easier to accept no matter how hard they must be to over come. Then the outcome will be the answer to why this obstacle was put before one in the first place.

ex. LIFE: Kelvin & I are happy together.. yes we are :)
OBSTACLE: Kelvin must live 4 hours away at UBO for 7months of schooling.. dun dun dunnn
OUTCOME: When he gets back it'll make our relationship that much stronger.. ahhh :) all better

I'm just soul into you.
("punny".. right babe?)