THANK YOUS

#0: JENZEN N. "wii/mansion"
(jenzen, you were a tad bit too early, haha but thank you)
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#1: "JOHN-JOHN" S.

#2: MIKHAIL L. "asparagus!"
I LOVE MY CARD <3>

#3: CHARLIE S. "birthday buddy!"

I need pepper spray!

KING GEORGE STATION

guy: hi there you filipina?
me: uhh, yes..
guy: where you going?
me: work
guy: oh i just got off from work, i'm a roofer
me: ohh...
guy: so how old are you?
me: old enough to ride the skytrain ( WTF?! why did i say that?)
*beep beep* (i recieve a text msg.)
guy: ohh, so you have a phone?
me: *nods head*
guy: you think i could call you sometime?
me: uh haha no its okay.. ( HAHA I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!)

TRAIN ARRIVES

me: *i walk in trying to get away from the guy, so i sit in a one seater*
guy: *guy sits right behind me*
me: *turns on my ds and starts listening to music and texting* (TRYING to look like i'm to busy to talk)
guy: so where do you work?
me: *ignor* ( i look through my phone, try to call SERENA, stupid girls phone is off >:(, looking through my phone again... I DON'T KNOW WHO I COULD CALL !!! )
guy: Yo Parray! *calls up his "flip" friend & taps me on the shoulder*
me: *ignor*
guy: here just talk to my friend on the phone he just came back from the philippines
me: uh, no thanks
guy: oh common! hes on the phone just say something
me: no, its okay
(I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO :S)
guy: *taps me on the shoulder AGAIN & passes me his phone* Here just add you're number in, common.
me: *ignor* (texting/listening to music)

after that time i think he just about got the msg that i didn't want him to call me nor talk to me. FINALY he got off at columbia. PHEW! Eff i need pepper spray! :(

i wasn't like this..

i wasn't like this before i met you

when we started seeing each other thats when we were cool
i think we were at our most chill and self state
and thats what made us want to be together

things were so fine and with the rough spots we went by
we'd argue and fight but we'd make up like it was no big

we got through the HARDEST sittuations.
you know all that stuff we've been through
i doubt that any of them have done

shit got real hard and it took forever to patch up..

well we thought we patched things up

it was more like a hole in the wall and we just
put a poster over it
yeah things may look good
but the hole is still there

and ever since.. you've somehow acted on it
things always came back up again

i really wish i could have done so much more
just to fix everything
but there was nothing left i could have done

things never went back to being the same
like the days we 1st chilled

especially those late nights with your cousin
and my sister
haha, those were good days

but things change,
people change.
but you can't control change
change controls you

its really hard to see that
we've both changed so much

i used to be chill
i used to not give a what
but being with you changed me
everything we been through
changed me

now i'm this.

and you.

you've changed too.
sometimes i don't know who you are
when you say those things you do
i try not to believe that you've become
that person

but then i realise that..
i've changed you too.

we've changed together.
but grew apart.

kinda ironic isn't it?

but who knows
maybe we'll change again

we'll change, but when we're apart
and maybe we'll grow back
... but together.

but we will leave that for the future
cause we still have to work with the present

i'll let the past be in the past.
and maybe tomorrow
will be a "new" start to the future.


___________________________________

nts: you can't change the past.

july22'08

and if you're loosing your high then smoke again

VIMBY - One Step Beyond: Talib Kweli

GET EM' HIGH!

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i could go for one right now.

you know its kinda nice waking up to it, i guess. and walking around with it outside, and just seeing it every once in a while. but i've honestly haven't been able to spend time with it. like common, i'm trying why can't you? you're the only one that makes me truely happy, no questions ask, and you don't even have to do anything but come out. honest truth, i don't think i could ever be mad at you. i love you and miss you like crazy. seriously, where have you been dear sun? PLEASE SHINE DOWN ON ME :D Oh mr.sun

thats not the only thing i miss. i have no more time//energy to dance right now. you don't even understand how much it sucks. *sigh*

come 2 weeks, and sale season will be long gone :) i'll get a breezer and just chill, relax, and be out in the sun. come to think about it in 2 weeks i'll be older... though i know it, and people are mentioning it, it still hasn't hit me. still i contemplate on if i should or shouldn't celebrate this year. i really don't feel like planning anything. ahh.. right now, i stand at no.

1st day went by fast, but i'm...

DRAINED

g'night

"what chu want me to do? i'm saaaarrrrie!"

-S.C.

Oh man. FINALLY, i have a purpose// i have a job. haha sad huh? took me long enough, but i did it, and i'm doing it, and doing it with pride. already they got me on my toes and taking up my hours, but that's kind of what i signed up for. i don't want to waist my time staying home so much anymore. i'm tired of that. anyways .. job+me=good to go

lets see, heart's feeling quite happy.
satisfaction=happiness
we'll k.i.t citysand

SO its july, and its coming near the end of the month. hum.. how is this going to work? start packing in aug? or end of july? or maybe when he's on vacation? days are going by to quickly. F!

oh but should i even celebrate? who should i invite? where?... HONESTLY i kind of don't want to. i don't feel like planning or any of that stuff. i'd be nice, but i'm not feeling the planing part.

DAD GOT A NEW CAM! :) fun

tired.

shit's gooooood.

pardon my french

I'M BACK :D

FINALLY
sh... damn what a break through for me :D

TMR?! OH MY GOSH nervs? only a little kind of
FUN?! yes please :D

why am i still?
i need a way out

WHY SO SERIOUS?!

Oh but i'm not, i'm just not showing how happy i really am :)

So i'm always the photographer, never the one in the picture. This is the only one i was in for today.. out of like a lot of other ones. & there's my big happy smile. NOT! Eh..

Today was fun. I was happy. I was really Happy. Sun was out, slept away the drama, eating my meals, getting out of the house, spending time with you, being a little active, had a slurpee, got a ride home, eff you transit, home before dad got mad. Yes, so today i say was a really good day. You know, just another summer day. I hope i get more days like this. No, actually, i know i'll get more days like this. Maybe sometimes better. Yeah, better ... :)

I LOVE WAKING UP TO THE SUN. One of the best feelings ever. Like being in love or something, you just feel SO happy. Things that automatically make me happy: The sun, chocolate, you, sweet surprises, music & dancing. <3

LAlalalalalala..lala.. i love summer.

REALITY CHECK

i'm still 16?

:(

i don't feel like i'm 16.

Just another day of summer

so if this is summer... why is it still raining? pretty soon elementary schools are going to have to change all those poster/card/pictures off the wall of which month has what weather. july will have a picture of rain, and so will december, and so will april. yup, kids will now know that it rains all year. what is the weather coming to? i hate you rain.

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sht keeps getting more confusing errday but i be breaking my temptation

haha who talks like that? not me but its the truth

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Musiq soulchild - Forthenight

She: Yeah thats cool, i understand what you're saying, but i just got out of a sittuation.
He: Word
She: And i ain't really trying to get into anything serious right now, but we could chill. You'na mean?
He: Well how about this...

Let's pretend for one night, I'm the man in your life
And we do the things that lovers do
All the loving u like I give it to you just right
Theres nothing less than special when it comes to you
See what we have is understanding
That works so well for how we are
Cause neither of us has the heart to fall in love all over again

Even though I'm not your man and I know you're not my girl
But let's just act like it's that way tonight
Now I know u got your friends and you know I got some too
But let's just act like you're my lady tonight

Now what I like about you
Is that you're always so cool and comfortable whenever I'm around
You're some one that I can talk too
No matter what I'm going through
I call on you cuz I know you'll always be down
See what we have is so incredible
That we'll never find in anyone else
This thing that we share is so unbelievable
That I want you all to myself

Even though I'm not your man and I know you're not my girl
But let's just act like it's that way tonight
Now I know you got your friends and you know I got some too
But let's just act like you're my lady tonight

This song has the perfect beat for this kind of feeling :)

"No one ever really dies"

I hope that's true. This was said more than 5 times tonight, and i kept thinking of how it would feel to be up there. You know, not really alive but still living. I actually hope that i get to go there before all the people i know do. I say this because I know it'd be so hard for me to say good-bye.
Just like it was tonight. I didn't even know it was supposed to happen today. I wish i did though so at least i would know what i was in for. It took the longest time for me to get up there and see him. Seeing other people cry make me cry. My weak spot is my emotions... i'm so sensitive. I'm glad that all the people around me are still healthy. And i'm glad that he is in a better place now. I'll be praying for you. I just hope that all the rest will carry on and get though this okay.

RIP Lolo Leonardo

You will be missed

I love you Joe Larot!

BEST PART > 00:48 - till the end

a trip before july

They say the 3rd times a charm. But it officially worked on the 4th. Haha i actually felt it. Right when the door opened, oh man, everything just started turning, my mouth was hella dry, and i was so happy. What a trip. After the 2nd time that night i was just so tired, and it was only like 11 or something. Kept bobbing my head back and fourth cause it felt like i was on a ship hitting the waves slowly and gently. But i kept my cool. Though i could barley open my eyes, so i just walked into the closest room, and just crashed. Can't believe i slept so early! Sorry i took the bed guys. Hope i didn't miss out too much. Oh man. What a funny trip.

I want to go back on vacation :)

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i've been carrying around this weight for too long. i'm tired and hurt from the pain that i got by keeping myself from letting go. this weight has been dragging me down and i let it do so for to long. how did i not realise i should have let go a long time ago? It was worth it while it lasted but it actually only lasted until i became unhappy. This weight... just stays there, and doesn't bother with a thing, but i do so much just to keep it here with me, but if i left this weight behind it will not follow it'll just wait for someone else to take it. I guess its better if i leave it behind because i wouldn't have to hurt anymore, and i wont have to be such a bother, because i think this weight is better left to do its own thing. One less.

.

.

As I look at what I've done

The type of life that I've lived

How many things I pray the father will forgive

One situation involved a young man

He was the [city] and I was the sand

He stole my heart like a thief in the night

Dulled my senses blurred my sight

-Lauryn Hill

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i miss her, but can't see her.

ASSHOLES (summer crew)

shitty ass problems
fck shit.
screw this...



FUCKING LOVING SUMMER

tin&kylie... :) goodtimes
lets have a not sleep over again.

love you girls

THATS ALL WE NEED, YEP.


look what you guys did to me!
I'M CUSSING. oh no :(

you know what it is

MI FINE DE SEMMANISIMA

= my super weekend

this would have to be the best weekend so far.

thurs19-sun22

POINTFORM

thurs.
-*went to school/worked on doc.
-headed to gford
-*chilled with the boys
-wendys
-court
-*sickstylz! :)
-mcds
-homefree
fri.
-headed to jh
-chilled with the girls (imt)
-shopped for na's grad .ish
-swimming @ kitts
-ians palce
-*yellowreebokclasics;thanks (sere)na
sat.
-*did na' hair @ 5:30 in the am!
-*dragon boat fest. - face painted
-tired as hell!
-stayed home for the rest of the day
sun.
-Jolin's BDAY!
-chilled w/jerome before shift
-*dragon boat fest. - more face&body painting
-*visited by: serena&ian, miko&karl
-headed to ginos
-*bbq w/SICKSTYLZSYMPHONY
-homefree


* = ELABORATE

[thurs]
jel, our doc. is looking so sick. i'm proud of us :)
i never heard so much trivia on comiscs before. So much about MARVEL i never knew.
man you don't even understand how much i miss dancing. this skinny a** mirror in my room isn't enough

[fri]
okay, so it was me & serenas first time going into valuevillage, though i've been wanting to go for some time now, just not alone. we look around and i find this really goodlooking purse for 8bucks, hella cheep, and hella gorgeous! was planning to get it until serena and i check out all the funky shoes they got up on the racks. and what do you know, serena finds a pair of bright yellow shoes in the kids section, just as we were about to make fun of how bright it was, we realise they are high-top reebok classics. & what do you know, THEY WE'RE A PERFECT FIT! we practically jacked the shoes cause theywere only $6.99! thank you serena for finding and buying me last years birthday present. haha i love you bestfriend! (as if we don't say that enough, right?) HAHA!

BESTESES

[sat]
man for one practice on friday night, we did a pretty good job on picking the hairstyle. honestly its was a little fluke on how good i made you're hair look, especially considering we did it at 6 in the am. when do we ever sleep early, and wake up early? NEVER! i guess that was another 1st for us. anyways you looked gorgeous!
oh my gosh, little kids are SO CUTE. i met so many interesting kids from facepainting. some had the highest voices in the world, with the biggest eyes, and the strangest questions and the cutest remarks. it was funner than i expected.

[sun]
like i said before, so many interesting people. only the people from sanfran asked for big body paintings. one guy asked for a butterfly on his back, haha it turned out nicer than i thought :) yay me. i'm pretty sure he liked it, he said he would even have that as a tattoo, haha! another said he wanted a dragon! oh my gosh, i have no clue how to draw a dragon rather than paint one. but i still made an attempt. wasn't bad, again turned out better than i thought haha. yay for me.

to the people to made it out to visit, thanks :) haha it honestly made it so much better. last hour of my shift was the best! i painted snoopy&woodstock on mikos abdomen, painted a lizard on karls forearm (i think) and put tats on all of us. haha gts.

maaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, sickstylz bbq was so dope, but we were missing SO many people! that was a seriously long ass play-list with the craziest beats! sessioning like thaat.. i felt like i fell in love all over again! you feel so free, and so right when you hit thoughs beats. HAHA GINO our new move, we're so going to battle one day ! SERIOUSLY! mann, oh mann, oh mann! can't wait for friday ! WOO OPEN STUDIO!!!



What made my whole weekend was the sun peaking through more often than it has in the past few weeks.


I LOVE YOU SUN, please stay all summer.

my sunlight on a rainy day

Cirque Du Soleil Corteo

wow! I don't think i'll get another chance to see something like that again. Unless serena & i go see it when we go to vegas! But i have to say that was amazing! I loved every min of it. Its something you can't exactly explain, you just have to be there to know what i mean. My favourite part was the midget lady was floating from 6 GINORMOUS helium filled ballons and she just walked/hopped on the crowds hands as they raised them when she was coming by. My mom & i had fun :)

Sun's out; now it feels like SUMMER

1) Happy Fathers day! - bbq/rockband was fun with the males of the family, but the real celebration is tmr.

2) Congratulations Jamie Jane, I can't believe you're leaving at the end of august. But know for a fact that I'll be visiting. Your celebration was fun. Frick I want a lap-top, and A LOT of free money from strangers.

*on the phone*
p1: So what are you doing?
p2: ...
-long silence-
p2: Who me?
p1: no I'm asking my door...
"There's your sign"

Haha that's good hick-comedy. I'm going to miss just watching TV for hours with you.

3) SYTYCD pt.2 - The new "jabba" group from the west side with all the breaker boys got me thinking. Before i actually saw them perform i thought they were cocky-ish, and i wasn't too fond of them. But i changed my mind once i saw them break. Okay, it was pretty damn hot, kind of a turn on :P I think i like them :)
Sucks for Jeff Vs team. I thought they'd go further but after watching their routine compared to the others changed my mind. Too bad.

4)CSI - i don't like the re-runs after school. I've seen all of them like 5 times by now. Sundays are a good day to watch because of the marathon, and late at night on weekdays. Guess I'll stick to that since it seems like I'm missing out on the newer episodes. I'm not liking the New Guy. Grisom's "replacement" or something like that. He's so sketch. His stupid flashbacks ruin the feng shui of the show, which is why i like the show. So the change sucks, they should just keep the CSILV squad as is. No more new characters please.

5) I shouldn't talk when I'm intoxicated. Sorry.

6) Opened up the water colours, and experimented a bit. Eh not bad, but i think when i plan it out like i do in class it ends up SO much better. Mom's framing the one i finished during class, I'm still waiting for it to come back. I should start getting together my portfolio :) - Excited for school

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Picture this...
There's a cliff.
Bottom of the cliff is a farm
Top of the cliff there's the city
Edge of the cliff is a boulder blocking the city

Now how would you feel if you were standing on the edge of the cliff waiting to get to the city because you rather not live in the farm?
You see the farm is safe. You do your work, you get things done, but its just not as great as living in the city would be.
In the city you got everything, things are better than safe, things in the city feel more right.
Sure there are going to be some political problems and such but you deal with it.
But see I'm at the edge of the cliff. I met my halfway just by climbing that cliff, but all it is now is the waiting game. Waiting for something to happen for that big boulder to move out of my way so i can get to the city. Climbing there was hard enough, but waiting for something to happen is so much harder than you may think. You'll never know when that something you've been waiting for comes, or even if it will come at all. You stay there and you starve, but you don't want to miss your chance. You start getting impatient. Everything starts getting to you. You think about going back down the cliff, but you rather wait and TRY to be patient rather than miss your chance.
But for some reason you start to question everything again and again, even though you KNOW you're going to stay. It may be cruel, but its what i chose.

Think about it.

what's with all this fine print?

when you see fine print, it's all that stuff
you don't want to read, but you got to read.
the "check of these.."
the "guarantees"
the "this is your own warranty"
the "make sure of this.."
and "don't do these.."
while you listen to Lupe sing "stack that cheese"
you're reading this
but you mumble these
words that you don't really seize
or care to think about
so you just breeze
through the fine print
that all just a tease.

-1.24.08/11.52-12.03