This is it.
Last week before school.
Tomorrow i'm meeting with the councilor and choosing my cources. What am i going to take? This...
Tomorrow i'm meeting with the councilor and choosing my cources. What am i going to take? This...
1.english 12
2.math 12
3.spanish 12
4.elite performance dance 12
5.drawing & painting 12
6.ceramics & sculpture 12
7.media arts (photography) 12
8.(adv?) drafting & design 12
This is exactly what i was waiting for.
Can't believe we're already getting lockers on thursday. Finaly, i get the big locker this year, though many may think i don't need it, i do. I'm pretty scared to go to a new school all over again. I'm going to get lost, and people are going to think i'm in grade 8 or something. Back to being "The new girl". Even though i am scared, i'm also pretty stoked. New classrooms, new teachers, new friends? Yup scared & stoked.
Summer went by really quickly. Well at least for me it did. Didn't seem like i did much, but let me try and re-cap.
JUNE
-sleep overs
-vv shopping
-dragon boat festival
-sickstylz practices
-interviews
-picnic @ 2nd beach
-leo was here!
-swimming at anthos
-neks bbq
JULY
-beaches
-night rides
-movies
-got a job
-more swimming
-sessions
-verns bday/splashdown
-neks/cupcakes :)
-training
-wedding
-more sessioning
-more movies
-got students
-moved out
-goodbye jamie!
AUGUST
-shopping
-celebrate me&he birthdays
-reds
-sickstylz session
-GSM!!!!!
- etc...
Summer seemed so much shorter, but closer towards the end things got more intense.
Honestly i felt like i was going to die last night. I've never been so messed up before. I was scared out of my mind. So lost, so alone, so out in the dark. It was insanly scarey! But i barley remmember doing the things i did. As if i watched everything happen in a show and i just remember it like that. I can still feel a bit of it at times. I don't want to have that feeling for the 3rd time. The 1st time was enough, but last night just brought the 1st times memories back again.
This is it.
summers (practically) over, new schools begining, and things are changing,
I'm starting to like the rain :)
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i miss my long hair :(
Jamie you really DUN it this time
Hahaha okay, so its not QUITE a "DUNny" but Munnies are close enough ;)
I hope you're enjoying europe. Remember not to bring me back a keychain, like the many others haha. HAVE FUN!
"This is how I'm bringing friends to europe with me :)" -Jamie Jane
"Low-key"
Hahaha!
I'm really out of of the loop.
Woo paid! Feels pretty good.
QUOTES FOR TODAY
"Low-key"
"Goo day"
"DON'T PISS ME OUT!"
"Get off me girl!"
"Summer Buddies"
"I have a lot of white hair"
"Perfect!"
"I'm a little girl, not an LG"
HUMM good day (Y)
Basketball meets Football
How funky is this..
My sister just bought a pair of each for her boyfriend. Thats too funny.
BRAND NEW SH*T
Wow i forgot what shopping was like.
UPDATE LATERRRRR
alright i'm back.
i should be sleeping right now since i open tomorrow morning but i just got home and i've been meaning to get this edition out for sometime, but i just needed for this to happen 1st.
Here it is. So many things have been up and coming in my life, and good things too. New things. Been going through new things, feelings new feelings, getting new gear, doing new ish, and just feeling fresh ( yeah yeah i know "feeling fresh" , very over used but thats honestly how i've been feeling). Life's good. I'm happy. I can say that, and know that its so true that it feels good to say it. When someone asked me how i was doing this week, i told them like i usually do and said, "i'm good" and thats when i had an epiphany. I realised that things are good, not the greatest, not amazing, not super, but good. Good as in happy, as in satisfying, as in taking everything as it is worth and nothing for granted. Life is good.
I've been keeping organized with my life. Having my schedule is a big deal to me. With out it i'm a bit lost. Yeah sometimes i have to work in friends into my schedule, but it works out and i make the most of my days off. I had too much time on my hands before starting to work. And i was pretty stupid with it. But when things go according to plan, its like you have nothing to worry about cause things are going the way things are supposed to. Not that i wouldn't mind some inconveniences along the way cause it could be handled, but it just feels better that way.
With this whole planning thing, i've been having my own time as well. Now i'm making my time worth it.
Missing my usual hobbies so i thought i should get back to that. Especially drawing. I understand i lost my touch with words, so i don't exactly bother trying to write anymore. But i keep practicing with my drawings and doodles. And as for dance.. well i've been practicing in the studio here and there, so im good with that. Haha i made a new move yesterday. Its a pretty fly move. I'm proud. But i think i'm already over rating it haha. :)
And now since i've been getting back to myself, i've also been realizing things i should have realised long long time ago. I guess i already knew it, i just never took the initiative to take self control and do something about it. But having this time got me thinking. Thinking about how i react to things, or actually how i shouldn't be reacting to things. Seeing the differences between my NEEDS and my WANTS. Thus showing me how i should strive and think more about my needs and leaving my wants to being only a privilege. Again, not taking the things that i want and have for granted.
Going on with needs and wants, got me thinking. I think i would like to see a major debate about "is money really something we need in life?". Now that would be a crazy debate (man i miss philosophy class). I think money is something we DON'T need, but in today's society its almost mandatory if we want to survive this crazy world. But i have to say, i like having my money. It feels so good to be earning it again :) ahhh. I feel just a bit more free when i have a bit of cash money on me (shiit eh, looks like i still got my writing skills, haha ;) only joking.)
Alright so i must confess, i haven't been spending my money as wisely as i COULD be, but i meen its my 1st paycheck in a LONG time. "what chu want me to do, i'm sawrrie". But seriously i almost forgot what shopping was like. Constant new clothes. Ahh boy it feels good. Lots of compliments, haha make me blush and ish, shoot, stop it ;) okay .. go 'head. Haha.
OH and lastly, BRAND NEW HAIR CUT!
SO i finally cut my long hair. Oh my. I've had long hair almost my whole life. Almost. I've always wanted to cut my hair short. I said it almost every summer of high school, but i always kept putting it off cause i kept saying that i wanted long hair for grad. But i went to grad this year had my hair long luscious and curly so why not for my grad have it completely different. Why not right? It'll be something different-ish, and new-ish. Haha, well at least not typical :)
She tied my hair with a rubber band, like a low pony-tail. Then she braided it, and then tied the end with another pony-tail. And then, she started to cut. All i could hear was the sound of my hair being cut off. It didn't effect me until the last cut. *CHOP* and my long hair was all gone. Right then my heart sank a little. Honestly, i felt it. Haha it was so weird. I was already shocked with how short it was when she cut it off, and then she started cutting more! Oh man, i just kept thinking to myself, it'll look better in the end. And well it did :D haha i was a little bit insecuurr about it at 1st, but the more compliments i got, the more i felt good about it. Each and everyone who has said anything about my hair made me feel a little it more better. Thank You! But the biggest thank you to my ATE. Awesome birthday gift. Totally worth the 70bucks. BIG UPS TO CHASTHY, the artist with the scissors and AXIS for the location.
Anyone know where i can donate my hair?
Anyways its hella late and i got to get some rest.
New Shit
New attitude
New look
New Me
& proud of it.
from a distance
off work.
off at a spontanious station
off topic
off noises
off in the distance
off lights in the sky
off my mind
i wish i was there
but then again
i rather not.
THANK YOUS
#0: JENZEN N. "wii/mansion"
(jenzen, you were a tad bit too early, haha but thank you)
___________________________
#1: "JOHN-JOHN" S.
#2: MIKHAIL L. "asparagus!"
I LOVE MY CARD <3>
#3: CHARLIE S. "birthday buddy!"
I need pepper spray!
KING GEORGE STATION
guy: hi there you filipina?
me: uhh, yes..
guy: where you going?
me: work
guy: oh i just got off from work, i'm a roofer
me: ohh...
guy: so how old are you?
me: old enough to ride the skytrain ( WTF?! why did i say that?)
*beep beep* (i recieve a text msg.)
guy: ohh, so you have a phone?
me: *nods head*
guy: you think i could call you sometime?
me: uh haha no its okay.. ( HAHA I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!)
TRAIN ARRIVES
me: *i walk in trying to get away from the guy, so i sit in a one seater*
guy: *guy sits right behind me*
me: *turns on my ds and starts listening to music and texting* (TRYING to look like i'm to busy to talk)
guy: so where do you work?
me: *ignor* ( i look through my phone, try to call SERENA, stupid girls phone is off >:(, looking through my phone again... I DON'T KNOW WHO I COULD CALL !!! )
guy: Yo Parray! *calls up his "flip" friend & taps me on the shoulder*
me: *ignor*
guy: here just talk to my friend on the phone he just came back from the philippines
me: uh, no thanks
guy: oh common! hes on the phone just say something
me: no, its okay
(I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO :S)
guy: *taps me on the shoulder AGAIN & passes me his phone* Here just add you're number in, common.
me: *ignor* (texting/listening to music)
after that time i think he just about got the msg that i didn't want him to call me nor talk to me. FINALY he got off at columbia. PHEW! Eff i need pepper spray! :(
i wasn't like this..
i wasn't like this before i met you
when we started seeing each other thats when we were cool
i think we were at our most chill and self state
and thats what made us want to be together
things were so fine and with the rough spots we went by
we'd argue and fight but we'd make up like it was no big
we got through the HARDEST sittuations.
you know all that stuff we've been through
i doubt that any of them have done
shit got real hard and it took forever to patch up..
well we thought we patched things up
it was more like a hole in the wall and we just
put a poster over it
yeah things may look good
but the hole is still there
and ever since.. you've somehow acted on it
things always came back up again
i really wish i could have done so much more
just to fix everything
but there was nothing left i could have done
things never went back to being the same
like the days we 1st chilled
especially those late nights with your cousin
and my sister
haha, those were good days
but things change,
people change.
but you can't control change
change controls you
its really hard to see that
we've both changed so much
i used to be chill
i used to not give a what
but being with you changed me
everything we been through
changed me
now i'm this.
and you.
you've changed too.
sometimes i don't know who you are
when you say those things you do
i try not to believe that you've become
that person
but then i realise that..
i've changed you too.
we've changed together.
but grew apart.
kinda ironic isn't it?
but who knows
maybe we'll change again
we'll change, but when we're apart
and maybe we'll grow back
... but together.
but we will leave that for the future
cause we still have to work with the present
i'll let the past be in the past.
and maybe tomorrow
will be a "new" start to the future.
___________________________________
nts: you can't change the past.
july22'08
and if you're loosing your high then smoke again
GET EM' HIGH!
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i could go for one right now.
you know its kinda nice waking up to it, i guess. and walking around with it outside, and just seeing it every once in a while. but i've honestly haven't been able to spend time with it. like common, i'm trying why can't you? you're the only one that makes me truely happy, no questions ask, and you don't even have to do anything but come out. honest truth, i don't think i could ever be mad at you. i love you and miss you like crazy. seriously, where have you been dear sun? PLEASE SHINE DOWN ON ME :D Oh mr.sun
thats not the only thing i miss. i have no more time//energy to dance right now. you don't even understand how much it sucks. *sigh*
come 2 weeks, and sale season will be long gone :) i'll get a breezer and just chill, relax, and be out in the sun. come to think about it in 2 weeks i'll be older... though i know it, and people are mentioning it, it still hasn't hit me. still i contemplate on if i should or shouldn't celebrate this year. i really don't feel like planning anything. ahh.. right now, i stand at no.
1st day went by fast, but i'm...
DRAINED
g'night
"what chu want me to do? i'm saaaarrrrie!"
-S.C.
Oh man. FINALLY, i have a purpose// i have a job. haha sad huh? took me long enough, but i did it, and i'm doing it, and doing it with pride. already they got me on my toes and taking up my hours, but that's kind of what i signed up for. i don't want to waist my time staying home so much anymore. i'm tired of that. anyways .. job+me=good to go
lets see, heart's feeling quite happy.
satisfaction=happiness
we'll k.i.t citysand
SO its july, and its coming near the end of the month. hum.. how is this going to work? start packing in aug? or end of july? or maybe when he's on vacation? days are going by to quickly. F!
oh but should i even celebrate? who should i invite? where?... HONESTLY i kind of don't want to. i don't feel like planning or any of that stuff. i'd be nice, but i'm not feeling the planing part.
DAD GOT A NEW CAM! :) fun
tired.
I'M BACK :D
FINALLY
sh... damn what a break through for me :D
TMR?! OH MY GOSH nervs? only a little kind of
FUN?! yes please :D
WHY SO SERIOUS?!
Oh but i'm not, i'm just not showing how happy i really am :)
So i'm always the photographer, never the one in the picture. This is the only one i was in for today.. out of like a lot of other ones. & there's my big happy smile. NOT! Eh..
Today was fun. I was happy. I was really Happy. Sun was out, slept away the drama, eating my meals, getting out of the house, spending time with you, being a little active, had a slurpee, got a ride home, eff you transit, home before dad got mad. Yes, so today i say was a really good day. You know, just another summer day. I hope i get more days like this. No, actually, i know i'll get more days like this. Maybe sometimes better. Yeah, better ... :)
I LOVE WAKING UP TO THE SUN. One of the best feelings ever. Like being in love or something, you just feel SO happy. Things that automatically make me happy: The sun, chocolate, you, sweet surprises, music & dancing. <3
LAlalalalalala..lala.. i love summer.
Just another day of summer
so if this is summer... why is it still raining? pretty soon elementary schools are going to have to change all those poster/card/pictures off the wall of which month has what weather. july will have a picture of rain, and so will december, and so will april. yup, kids will now know that it rains all year. what is the weather coming to? i hate you rain.
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sht keeps getting more confusing errday but i be breaking my temptation
haha who talks like that? not me but its the truth
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Musiq soulchild - Forthenight
She: Yeah thats cool, i understand what you're saying, but i just got out of a sittuation.
He: Word
She: And i ain't really trying to get into anything serious right now, but we could chill. You'na mean?
He: Well how about this...
Let's pretend for one night, I'm the man in your life
And we do the things that lovers do
All the loving u like I give it to you just right
Theres nothing less than special when it comes to you
See what we have is understanding
That works so well for how we are
Cause neither of us has the heart to fall in love all over again
Even though I'm not your man and I know you're not my girl
But let's just act like it's that way tonight
Now I know u got your friends and you know I got some too
But let's just act like you're my lady tonight
Now what I like about you
Is that you're always so cool and comfortable whenever I'm around
You're some one that I can talk too
No matter what I'm going through
I call on you cuz I know you'll always be down
See what we have is so incredible
That we'll never find in anyone else
This thing that we share is so unbelievable
That I want you all to myself
Even though I'm not your man and I know you're not my girl
But let's just act like it's that way tonight
Now I know you got your friends and you know I got some too
But let's just act like you're my lady tonight
This song has the perfect beat for this kind of feeling :)
"No one ever really dies"
I hope that's true. This was said more than 5 times tonight, and i kept thinking of how it would feel to be up there. You know, not really alive but still living. I actually hope that i get to go there before all the people i know do. I say this because I know it'd be so hard for me to say good-bye.
Just like it was tonight. I didn't even know it was supposed to happen today. I wish i did though so at least i would know what i was in for. It took the longest time for me to get up there and see him. Seeing other people cry make me cry. My weak spot is my emotions... i'm so sensitive. I'm glad that all the people around me are still healthy. And i'm glad that he is in a better place now. I'll be praying for you. I just hope that all the rest will carry on and get though this okay.
RIP Lolo Leonardo
You will be missed
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