"hey hun"
"sup love?"

the way the words are spoken

the flow of sweetness to my ears

it doesn't mean much but it is something new

makes me smirk, and bite my lip

'cause i'm lost for words

and i choke on my own breath

all of this really is nothing

still, it gives me that open door to reality

that its not over

happiness is right there

you just got to let it in.

thanks for knocking on my door.

oh btw..

thanks for giving me that boost of confidence,

i'll keep making those.. *ahem* you know

haha make me famous ;)

A SPECIAL MENTION

You're a true leader you know that? Even though we only stepped in for 10 mins or so i got a lot out of watching you take over like that. It's been interesting seeing you grow into what you are now, even though it has been from a far ever since I moved and changed schools. From checking you out from a far when you were in metal works and i was in woodworking (haha gr8), to watching you write poems in orca lane when we'd be hella early for school, to hearing you out at poetry slams, to making your own shows at school. I'm proud to have a friend like you. You may not know it, but it is a true inspiration to watch you evolve into who you are and what you have accomplished today. I'm proud of you. Keep doing what you're doing cause your good at doing it. Haha :)

FA ; "FRANKIS"

-selah/se-lahv/saylove

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Oh baby you, oh baby me, oh maybe we..

I really feel like making choreo to this song..
with Joe L. as inspiration <3>

SO SIMPLE

...perfect weather

Its so beautiful outside. The sun is just singing for attention and the wind felt like rocking steady today. The rain, hail, and snow decided to go I vacation and thats fine by me. The weather is almost in complete control with how my emotions will swing that day. But today was a little different. I felt that special high from the sun, and dressed up a little differently, but i wasn't able to be as happyas the weather was telling me to be. The happiness was forced through today, I'm going to have to admit that. I wasn't frontin all of it though. I pulled a couple genuine smiles and cracked a few laughs that were burried underneith the hurt and anger. My emotions, my thoughts, and the atmosphere just wasn't in sync. Clashing to make me believe that I was feeling one way but I was thinkinganother. But its not like I was acting out of the norm. Was just feeling off edge.

The sun is gorgeous. Okay I cracked another smile : )



Selah
SeLAH-v
Say love

CUPCAKES, SPOTS & SHIPS

Generation Girls - Kucha's - Noodle Parties

Missed you girls. Its been a while hasn't it. You moved into your new place in Sept and yesterday was my first time there. Haha it has been long. Last time we ate cupcakes was that last time we were were in Guildford. I had to get home still "full" on cupcakes. Freaking out cause I couldn't control myself, haha scared to death "Nek I'm going to die, nek i can't control myself, nek i feel like I'm in a game!" haha that was so funny. That was the day you gave me your pepper spray, hoping I'd get home safe. I did, but was hella paranoid haha. Yesterday gave me flashbacks from that day, but i handled it. It was probably all the breakfast food from Dedutch was what held me down. So good. Anyways I missed you girls.

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Blogs are spots to let you talk about what ever you want. A lot of people use it for spots to let their feelings out. "Honestly expressing yourself ". I can't do that here. That kind of stuff is personal. I rather not have my feelings and personal life out in the public for people to read and talk about. My real blog spot is here.

______________________________________________



Hearts are in different places

Minds are set at different paces

Words are being thrown out in the open with out going through the mind.

Everything that has happened, happened.

So I'm accepting it, and looking forward.

Stepping back so you can breath.

I put you through a lot,

and that pushed you towards hate for me.

I wish I could say sorry for how big this problem came to be.

But it actually wouldn't matter would it?

I think that friendSHIP has sailed,

and i just watched it go.

Not in hate, nor sadness,

not really in confusion either.

Just amazed how far and fast that ship sailed away.

I would have preferred if that ship never set sail.

But the passengers were just waiting for that anchor

to be dug out from the sand it was buried in and let free.

That anchor that held it back..

I guess you could see what that anchor was.

Everything that happened,

happened for a reason.

That's the way i look at it,

and since i look at it in that way

it is helping me accept everything for what it turned out to be.

you know when i said "i still.... & always will" i ment it, & still do. takecare

not since GR6

I didn't see this day coming back. But it's official. The Parto sibling's are now living under one roof once again. This hasn't happened since i was in the 6th grade. It took a total of 6 years of moving from house to house. Shall i map it out..

gr.5
mom's house: ryan, vanessa, & me
dad's house: -

gr.6-9
mom's house: ryan, & me
dad's house: vanessa

(half of grade 9 i moved out)

gr.9-11
mom's house: ryan
dad's house: vanessa & i

gr.12
mom's house: ryan & me
dad's house: vanessa

but as of today its back to
mom's house: ryan, vanessa, & me

and my dads living with his girl, as well as my mom's bf is living with us.

amazing isn't it? i really do love my siblings, though i don't speak of them very often.
My brother Ryan, who is 5 years older than i, had recently got his first gig for DJing at C..C... uhm i forget the club. Its a strip club during the week, but on the weekend its a night club. The other day he was telling me about it. Explaining to me how many compliments he was getting, and i could tell just from the glow in his face and the way he told his story that he was proud, and i was proud of him. He's really into his music. His expertise: HIPHOP-HOUSE. Its the new thing my friends, get into it. You'll be hearing it more often. This is he..

DJ DEXTER

By the time i'm legal to hit up the clubs he should be DJing for the bigger clubs, at least the ones i'll remember, or know of haha. Well at least i hope. From what i'm hearing from other people, and how he scratches at home i know he's got the potential. I'm one of his biggest fans. Yah yah shadddup. I love my kuya : )

As of my sister, well she's doing big things too. Currently working at ULounge in white rock, she is def one big indepentant diva. Sometimes its a bother.. but shes my sister, that's what shes there for. Shes soon going to be bar tending at nightclubs.. or thats what she implied. Either way shes doing her thing and doing it well.

Then theres me. Still underage so i'm not all up in that club scene but my time will come. And when its my turn i'll be dancing on the floor like there's no tomorrow. Or at least thats what i think i'll be doing. Who knows, maybe i wont be so into that clubbing scene hitting up the clubs every weekend, club hoppin', drinking till loose my memory. We'll thats not for another year and some, so we'll wait till then.

_____________________________________________________

SPRING BREAK! no no wait...

SPRANG BROKED!

Where'd my moniez go?
Still waiting on some incoming cash flow, and i get paid on wednesday. So i'll be good after that. Didn't realize that my Spring Break would be this busy. I thought i'd just be going thru with day-by-day sht. But nope. I got a schedual and i'm still trying to fit people in. Weird, that never happens haha. Well i guess its better that i'm keeping occupied. I wouldn't want to stay home anyways. My mind thinks too much when i'm at home, and not always in a good way. So this busy thing going on in my life is a good push away from the usual overthinking side of me.

SB OVER LOOK

fri:
-WORK

sat:
-KARL's BDAY!
-JOJO's house class at Harbour
-WILL's house - CUT TYRONES HAIR WOO!
(but gino obviously went over it haha)

sun:
-SSS practice
-ME TIME

mon(today):
-ME TIME
-BIGRIDGE STAFF PARTY! ****

details shall we?

All staff members who were planning on going met up at BigRidge at 6. We all got on our bus and had some drinks. It took a lot less time then i thought. Or i just was enjoying it too much to notice how long the actual travel was haha. We got there and it was getting cloudy. So as soon as we got our cards we ran to the go karts since they were outside. Luckily for our group we got to go first. The last two groups got it bad. The snow came pouring down so they were soaked by the time they got back in haha! Played some DDR, bunch of mini games, DEAL OR NO DEAL and (saved the best for last) "BUMPER CARS WOOOOOO"! Hahaha that was the best part of the whole trip at CASTLE FUN PARK. The ride back was pretty fun too. Many of the staff members were still pretty drunk so they had some interesting conversations. It was almost like being on a party bus just without dancing. Oh how i miss party buses. Our bus was playing Family Guy, so that was another source of entertainment adding on to ppl watching on drunk staff members haha! Now i know how they are outside of work haha. BUT big ups to the man of the night BOSS CHRIS/ MR. FUNK. He was more cool with everything then i thought he would be.

I love BigRidge!

OBAMA meet SELAH

1st time for everything

i got to shave a part of bry1's hair today! woo

TRAINING DAY!
BAD ASS MOVIE
(as in: it was so so so good)

kept my mind occupied...



:( for a while at least.


we're going to make SB worth while!
Alice in Wonderland & Book of illusions here we come hahaha!

Hearing a lot of

"HE SAID..."

"SHE SAID..."

"BUT DON'T TELL THEM I TOLD YOU THAT..."

If something is known that I should know, don't tell me unless I'm allowed to know or I'm allowed to say something about it. Even if its something you think i should know the truth about, I rather not know. And if you do tell me, and its something that is effecting me, don't expect me to keep my mouth shut. You lost some-ones trust when you told me cause you broke a promise to keep your mouth shut, so it is bound to come out in some form of karma.

I just don't want to hear it, or deal with it. So i rather not know.

_______________________________________________

IDC weekend was an eye opener. Found out a lot about the members of sickStylz, and got another source of inspo. I had a real good time. I was happy with how it all went down, with the good and the bad. It was just a perfect amount of both sides. BUT i'll save the details for my "dancelife."

_______________________________________________

Been disconnected this whole weekend. So i haven't had a chance to read what everybody has been posting. But it looks like not a lot has changed, i'm glad i didn't miss out on that much. 

hum... i'm actually not sure where i'm going with this.

new topic 

Back to reality: 

-once we got back, it all started going down. the same bs. don't need it, don't give it to me. 

-this will be my annual day to repent  ; i'm sorry ; i'm ashamed

-BILLS BILLS BILLS

-what money?

-due dates, projects

love isn't reality, it is..

something i'm just not feeling right now. 

bad vibes 

intentions rise

damn

i just want out.

its so early right now, i haven't eaten breakfast

and i don't know what i'm saying. 

"I'm just a [girl] whose intentions are good, oh lord please don't let me be misunderstood"

TREAT YOU GOOD

Heard you and your man was beefin'

Thought I should come and see ya

To find out if you needed anything

Was wonderin' if you need a lil change

I've been knowin' you bout forever

I was thinkin if we got together

It just might be the truth

Perfect for me and you

Now looky here I got somethin for you to hold

And I don't care who may see it who may know

Cuz' I want ya so bad

And girl you know I'm a g

So I aint takin no for an answer Cuz' I would like to see if we could

[Chorus]

Kiss a lil bit

Hug a lil bit

Touch a lil bit

Maybe rub a lil bit

I'm the man of your dreams you know that im me

Baby can't you see I treat you good

Just a little

Kiss you on your lips

The ones past your hips I wanna keep it hood

Just a little

The one like he aint

Do things that he can't I wanna say

I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it girl

Lemme hear you say

I need it I need it I need it I need it I need it boy

[Verse 2]

Is it wrong to feel like this

Is it bad to have you here

For you I have much respect I don't want you to regret

Steppin up at how you do

Even though you know it's the right move

Even though you know it's an upgrade

Even though you know if you know you wanna stay

Looky here I got somethin' for you to hold

And I don't care who may see or who may know

Cuz' I want you so bad ooh

Girl you know I'm a g

I aint takin' no for an answer

Cuz I wanna see

[Chorus]

Kiss a lil bit

Hug a lil bit

Touch a lil bit

Maybe rub a lil bit

I'm the man of your dreams and all that you need

Baby can't you see

I treat you good

Just a little

Kiss you on your lips

The ones past your hips

I wanna keep it hood

Just a little

The one like he aint

Do things that he can't

I wanna say

I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it girl and if you nedd it

Lemme hear you say I need it I need it I need it I need it I need it boy

[Bridge]

Do you have the time to stay tonight

Ohhh ohhh ohhh baby

Do you have the time to stay for life

Woahh Cuz our lovin was good

Girl by now you should know

There's no way

I'm gonna let you go

I don't mean to bring the pressure

But girl I'll be a fool if I up and just

Let you go

Girl you know

I wanna treat you good

[Chorus]

Just a little

Kiss you on your lips

The ones past your hips

I wanna keep it hood

Just a little the one like he aint

Do things that he can't baby

I wanna say I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it girl and if you need it

Lemme hear you say I need it I need it I need it I need it I need it

Boy do you have the time to stay tonight do you have the time to stay for life

K.I.S.S.

Past few days have been reaaal good to me. I'm not even sure why, but my cheeks have been hurting cause i've been smiling so much. It feels good, it feels so damn good. Maybe cause the suns been peeking through, maybe cause schools been light, maybe cause my moms been understanding me, maybe cause IDCs coming up! Oh mann LG... as in Life's Good! : )

I'm seriously loving my Lit class. We have one of the best teachers. Mrs. Winters. First class I had with her I was very intimidated! Not going to lie, she looks like an evil cartoon character.. like she could be Cruela Devil. She even does the red nail polish and sometimes lipstick. She's def not afraid to call you out on ANYTHING! But over all shes real chill. After she's done teaching us what we have to learn she'll give us a break. She'd be like "okay well i don't want to start anything new so you guys can just chill, just don't kill each other" and there would still be like 20mins left of class haha. But no even the work is pretty fun, but at the same time we learn what we have to know. We get the best of both worlds.

Last day we had our student teacher come in as well. Our group of 3 had to understand this poem, really didn't catch my interest, it was the end of the day, and I just wasn't getting it. We were going through it with him, and i kept over analyzing everything. That's when he said it. K.I.S.S. which meant Keep It Simple Stupid. Haha he said the phrase first so i was a little dumbfounded when he called me stupid, but then he said "K.I.S.S." and explained. Haha, i thought it was pretty interesting, and very catchy. Oh lit12.

Blk B / Dance Elite / Spare ... what ever you want to call it, is getting more interesting every block. A few blks back we started to bring back old games. WAIT hold up, even before that we had a huge rant about "pickuplines" haha check out the video on FB! But anyways i brought up the "BEAT 1" clapping game. We ( who ever knew this game) tried to remember all the beats and taught it to the rest of the blk. Then the next blk we had we learned the rest of it, and also brought up the "AHHH BIIIG BOOTY BIG BOOTY BIG BOOTY UH HUH AHH YEAH BIG BOOTY UH HUH" clapping game. Hahaha so fun. We had the biggest circle made in the hub and just were yelling like we didn't care. Mann our thighs were hurting from slapping them. GOOD STUFF.

ANOTHER REASON WHY I ENJOY WORKING AT BIGRIDGE:
So I was bussing Friday night, and this family of 6 comes in. They are one of our usuals so I've seen them come in before. And so Kaela (one of our hostesses) seats them down, and passes by me and says "those kids love you," and I was confused. I didn't get how they "loved me" haha. There are 2 little boys (twins) around the age of 4/5, and 2 little girls at the age of 6/7. As i was bussing around the tables around them i noticed them looking at me smiling and giggling. I thought it was cute, but a bit awkward haha. So i went to go run some food to their table. As i did so their dad spoke up and was like "you see these 2 girls, and these 2 boys here? Well they love you. As soon as we walked in they were like 'shes here, shes working again!'" Throughout the night the one of the twins kept eyeing me throughout the night and smiling and waving. I thought it was the most cutest things! Then as i came by the table his dad was like "okay go give it to her" and he gave me a flower he made out of the Wiki sticks we put in the kids menu boxes. He was so sweet! I had the biggest "awe" look on my face said my thank you and gave him a hug. After i did that his sisters were laughing and said "ha ha your so happy" and were teasing their little brother. As they were leaving their family was at the door and the little boy came up to me again, and his dad gave him that extra push once again to say what he had to say. So the little boy came to me and asked me if i was going to be working again next week. HAHA IT WAS SO DAMN ADORABLE! I was so sad because i had to tell him that I wasn't because i was going to be in Seattle, but i told him that i would be there next week. Again his sisters were teasing and said "haha you got sad!" and they too made me little gifts out of their Wiki sticks. It really made my night. Haha that little boy is going to be one smooth guy with the ladies :) haha!



SHOUT OUT TO MY
SHORTIE BOO BIG BURR**
a.k.a. RAWB ,
waahhhssssup?!
thanks for not coming with me to get my shoes
and going to the states! Hum.. so much for making
your tattoo! Haha jk. KAY happy?!
better bee hummmmmm


saved the best for last:
*I.D.C. IN 5 DAYS
*NO SCHOOL FRIDAY
*SEATTLE ALL WEEKEND
*DANCE DANCE DANCE
*SICKSTYLZ 1st TIME OUT THERE
*DUO [ CAS&CARMEN ]
*FRESHGROOVE&PRAISETEAM
**ITS GONNA BE HELLA FUN**