"Complicated"

Why did this word have to come to be? Why can't there just be straight answers and direct points of views? The way we think can be so "complicated" because of all these factors in our lives. We think one way because of that, but the other because of this and sometimes blah blah blah. These factors are our feelings and P.O.V's of everything around us. Because we feel one way, let say happy, we think about all of the good times in the past and reminisce. But if we were mad, then you'd think about all of the bad times you've gone through. But right now my mind is at its most complicated peak!

Ill be straight and say it like it is so it won't be complicated to understand, but you'll still get the complexity in it.
I'm sad right now because I'm thinking of the good times we once shared. I knew happiness was there for me as long as you were. But I took advantage of that which pushed it away. Now that its gone I miss it. I want to be THAT kind of happy again.

Truth be told.. I am happy for you. You found exactly what you were wanting. I guess I don't show it cause I'm jealous... Yes I admit I'm jealous :( .. that you found it so soon and easily. That kind of love that you got now doesn't come easily. I mean it took us some time and hardships to build that kind of love. I just hope that when I find it I don't loose it... Not again.

But I'm in no rush. Ill wait for mine. You know I mean its nice taking a small peek at seeing what it could look like with nice ..... here and there. I can give it a chance, but I know that I'm not going to let myself fall for the next John Doe that says nice things. It doesn't hurt having someone to call up and chill with when you just want to sit back, stay in, and watch a movie. Nothing complicated, real simple actually. And I can cope with that. Like I said I'll wait.

I SAY I can wait for LOVE.


Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

2 comment(s):

PJ said...

:]

Anonymous said...

i often read your blogs because to me, you have a blog worth reading and learning from. you never knew who i was until i met you, and i just read from the sidelines. In an odd way, i find you very inspiring for someone who's gone through so much, and yet can be so cheerful. Even through the stressed times its as if you can keep your head up high and just live. You've probably heard it countless times, but i guess i'm just reminding you. Although i dont know much bout your past, and your status, but just by observing you and your accomplishments, it stuns me that someone like you can feel sad. It makes me sad, to see you sad, even though i dont know you well ahah, this must seem soooooo creeperish (im girl btw LOL). But yeah, the jealousness will go away. It takes forever to get it off your mind, you probably know that. But it does go away. Slowly and painfully. I believe in you all the way and i hope that you will find someone worth your time and your heart-aches. I've gone through it and its fcking blooows ahaha. But anyways, im gonna go eat now (:
- anon