1) Happy Fathers day! - bbq/rockband was fun with the males of the family, but the real celebration is tmr.
2) Congratulations Jamie Jane, I can't believe you're leaving at the end of august. But know for a fact that I'll be visiting. Your celebration was fun. Frick I want a lap-top, and A LOT of free money from strangers.
*on the phone*
p1: So what are you doing?
p2: ...
-long silence-
p2: Who me?
p1: no I'm asking my door...
"There's your sign"
Haha that's good hick-comedy. I'm going to miss just watching TV for hours with you.
3) SYTYCD pt.2 - The new "jabba" group from the west side with all the breaker boys got me thinking. Before i actually saw them perform i thought they were cocky-ish, and i wasn't too fond of them. But i changed my mind once i saw them break. Okay, it was pretty damn hot, kind of a turn on :P I think i like them :)
Sucks for Jeff Vs team. I thought they'd go further but after watching their routine compared to the others changed my mind. Too bad.
4)CSI - i don't like the re-runs after school. I've seen all of them like 5 times by now. Sundays are a good day to watch because of the marathon, and late at night on weekdays. Guess I'll stick to that since it seems like I'm missing out on the newer episodes. I'm not liking the New Guy. Grisom's "replacement" or something like that. He's so sketch. His stupid flashbacks ruin the feng shui of the show, which is why i like the show. So the change sucks, they should just keep the CSILV squad as is. No more new characters please.
5) I shouldn't talk when I'm intoxicated. Sorry.
6) Opened up the water colours, and experimented a bit. Eh not bad, but i think when i plan it out like i do in class it ends up SO much better. Mom's framing the one i finished during class, I'm still waiting for it to come back. I should start getting together my portfolio :) - Excited for school
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Picture this...
There's a cliff.
Bottom of the cliff is a farm
Top of the cliff there's the city
Edge of the cliff is a boulder blocking the city
Now how would you feel if you were standing on the edge of the cliff waiting to get to the city because you rather not live in the farm?
You see the farm is safe. You do your work, you get things done, but its just not as great as living in the city would be.
In the city you got everything, things are better than safe, things in the city feel more right.
Sure there are going to be some political problems and such but you deal with it.
But see I'm at the edge of the cliff. I met my halfway just by climbing that cliff, but all it is now is the waiting game. Waiting for something to happen for that big boulder to move out of my way so i can get to the city. Climbing there was hard enough, but waiting for something to happen is so much harder than you may think. You'll never know when that something you've been waiting for comes, or even if it will come at all. You stay there and you starve, but you don't want to miss your chance. You start getting impatient. Everything starts getting to you. You think about going back down the cliff, but you rather wait and TRY to be patient rather than miss your chance.
But for some reason you start to question everything again and again, even though you KNOW you're going to stay. It may be cruel, but its what i chose.
Think about it.
Sun's out; now it feels like SUMMER
what's with all this fine print?
when you see fine print, it's all that stuff
you don't want to read, but you got to read.
the "check of these.."
the "guarantees"
the "this is your own warranty"
the "make sure of this.."
and "don't do these.."
while you listen to Lupe sing "stack that cheese"
you're reading this
but you mumble these
words that you don't really seize
or care to think about
so you just breeze
through the fine print
that all just a tease.
-1.24.08/11.52-12.03
Teach me
first and formost i'd like to say...
I'm proud of you.
You walked the stage,
you officially graduated,
you finished highschool.
stay on the optomistic
side of things.. Love You.
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i wish i could be gone for a while :)
i missed it when i was on vacation.
*sigh*
you only get it once in a life time
Prom
Yeah it wasn't my prom night, but it took me so long just to do my own hair & make up. But it was worth it in the end. I'm really proud of you. Its funny how you kept stressing over credits when you already had more than enough. Each of those credits earned by every class you've been in since grade 8, or you could look at is as 5 years. You worked hard throughout high school and this was your weekend to celebrate. I hope it was just as good as you expected it to be, you deserve it. Hopefully i was a good-enough escort for you. I really did enjoy myself, and i'm glad i stayed for 2nd semester. I have no idea what it would have been like if i didn't stay, and i don't care to imagine. I know i've only been in your life for 2 years, but it almost seems like i've been there ever since, and I hope those 2 years means just as much to you as it does to me. I guess what i'm trying to say is..
thank you for being a big part in my life, and congratulations.
its just not working
you know this whole under pressure, last min planning, late payments, contradicting arguments, over lapping plans, force of rebel just isn't working for me.
i honestly can't wait till these couple weeks are over.
i don't even care right now, i just want to get it over and DONE with.
with or without the fun, rain or shine, just let it pass already.
this stupid position is making me so angry. by the end of june i believe i'll be .01 balance, stuck in the house, looking out the window watching the rain pour down while thinking about how badley global warming is hitting us since it would be july in about a week or so.
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i need more practice on the road.
i don't feel like celebrating this year.
i just want the sun. please!
i think its the only think that doesn't make me mad. sun.
hard to please
If you could...
... take away one feeling, what would it be?
I would take the nervous feeling away.
__________________________________
i'm probably not, cause i'm too short.
how fking great is that.
*sigh*
Good Love
Hey, I'm looking for... "Good Love yeaah"
Met a lot of women now they all tore
Ran through 'em all but I'm just not sure...
"Good love, I like that baby"
Yea... We gon' fight but I think that's just... "Good Love yeaah"
1st Class flights, almost home but I... "Just can't keep still"
almost home free
may long weekend, was hella long, & i LOVED it
-ians burday, tan po po
took forever, but food was good
-1st drop-in, at drive w/marc leslie & stew
got icecream from MARBLE SLAB
(peach icecream w/frozen strawberries ;SO GOOD)
hit up engrish bay & had some greek
-birthdays bbq with the cousins
party with 1/4th of sss
-aunties birthday brunch
MAD shopping in poco :)
ANOTHER weekend gone by, and we're just that much closer to summer. can the weather just stay like this please? Lola's birthday last night was good. Happy 79th! stay healthy <3 The day was so nice.. it was warm all day. not too hot, not to cold.
i got less than a month less.. *sigh
i can do this.
when its over, i'll be homefree
at least until sept...
Me? a sullavin girl ?
we'll see how i fit in.
moving houses will be the worst part
.. not exactly looking forward to that
i'm sorry :(
I'll still visit! i promise :D
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dads back from hawaii tmr.
i want to go there :(
why do i even question it?
i know it just leads to no good.
FCK!
i just want to get thingss straight
and know whats going on.
the heats getting to me, and so is the time
it's all on you mr. weather man
How Far?
selah
and what for ?
*inhale*
this was worse than i thought... i can't believe it actually carried this far. but because its such a big deal i've some how automatically grown to cope & hide behind this mask that doesn't even exist. i messed up bad, and i know it too, but i really am trying. just wait, give me a little more time. i'll show you, i will, i promise. i knew it too, and i kept pushing my limit/bending the rules. i did all of that, and what for? i guess i did the things i did looking for happiness? yet in the end i question all the things i've been doing and ask myself "was it really really worth it?". you know i don't regret any of it, but i'm not proud of any of it either. "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger" .. i know it will, but its a really fragile topic right now.
1st priority... clean up my act
then i'll find the real happiness i've been looking for
*exhale*
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other than the babies drama...
-full day of school
-FINALLY DONE MY DUNNY PAINTING :D
-LOVING the sun.. it makes me happy
-sadly still sick
-chilled with serena
-took care of "casandra" our baby ;)
-played rockband
-ate
-tv
-ian came over
-bbt/food
-more rockband
-late night chill
missed you guys
the baby of the family
how many times have you thought to yourself "you won't/don't understand.." ?
i'm pretty sure more than once.
there's a lot of things you don't know
and i know that one of those things are that I was actually trying to do better
and be more at home, and all that good stuff for you guys.
but then it was like i was back in that "circle"
being teamed up on.
can't believe i heard the things i did.
your making it even harder then it already is
by asking those unnecessary questions
you know it too so i don't know why you keep going.
what's left to do?
i don't know, i'm so confused.
these are the symptoms
headaches
sleepless nights
homework till the a.m.
stress
twitches
*cough cough*ahem*
expensive phone bill
wet phone screeen
unable to speak right
bell rings
walk away
loss of appetite
I need a prescription
Since the 28th...
I think i really need to get on that english homework i've been pushing back lately, but right now i'll just finish what i started.
30th - Collabo was fun. Vince, or should i say Taxi. Haha that's what you get for getting your N before everyone else :) Chilled with jel & played RockBand! "CitySand"
1st - Chadley's 17th Birthday! "meenat" / Sickstylz practice, where i got flipped accidentally and banged my head into anthony's leg! Thanks a lot! Mouth with braces + leg = blood & cuts... now =kanka sores :(
2nd - PRO D! Went downtown w/jel. Saw quite a bit of people while we were out.
3rd - Saturday was a "spend time with my parents" kinda day. Went out with mom in the am looking for grad shoes.. no luck. But we're checking the states next weekend. Got mc Ds & dairy queen, haha i was so happy :) Once i got home i left for a date... with my dad! And we went to the theaters & watched IRON MAN! Oh my goodness i'm in love with the iron man guy & the the whole movie in general. SO good. GO WATCH IT! I had fun with my dad :)
4th - Sickstylz... hardcore cardio/workout sesh. Haven't worked out like that since.. last years PE class when we'd have collabo/work out wednesdays. I really hope i don't feel it in the morning. Got home had bbq with dad & the gf, and my brother came over too. After dinner obviously we played rockband. It takes 1 dad and 1 son to play the drum's on medium, haha. It was fun.
For some reason it feels like the things i've done like a day or two ago seems so far away now. Weird. Anyways i'm glad i've been staying home more.. and spending time with the family. I'm try not to get my dad mad at me all the time. I think its working.
Still i've been stressing a lot lately. Why exactly, i don't know. Maybe i just need more sleep. My eating habits are fine.. well actually i've been eating a lot, but it's all good. I heard that if you don't get your 8 hours of sleep your systems all messed up and then it starts effecting your eating habits/diet, and makes your body crave things like foods that have a lot of sugar to keep you awake. That's why you crave for sweets because your body will start wanting the things it thinks it needs to get energy your going to need for the day. (i hope that sentence made sense..) I think that's whats been happening to me. I'm always wanting sweets, but i don't care cause i'm not really gaining anything haha. But i think i need to start gaining.. & growing. Stupid feet are so damn small i can't find any heels that fit me. That's why i'm having trouble finding grad shoes. *sigh... why do i have to be so small :(
thing's i've been working on:
-catch-up for english
-freestyling
-self time / sleeping
-staying home/ or just making my dad happy with me
-dunny painting
-us
Most of its getting better. Mostly the last 3. & i'm satisfied with that :)
That's all it's about. Happiness.
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Up coming events...
-jerome's birthday (6th)
-kuya's birthday (7th)
-last school dance (8th)
-MOTHER'S DAY (11th)
Till then, ¡Ciao!
