TY: Number 5

I get these really strong feelings at times. More so when I'm trying to read something. Like a persons feelings. There will be times where I could be talking to someone with someone and I have a strong feeling.. Like I can read if they're lying, or hiding something. Or even when a person wants to do something and this feeling comes around and I just know its going to end up really bad or sometimes really good.

These feelings come & go. Almost every time I get these feelings I'm right.

"Seldom wrong, But never in doubt"

When we were talking this feeling came to me. I knew that this isn't going to go anywhere crazy. As much as you might have wanted it to, or I would have liked it to, I knew that as much as we would even talk about it, we'd stay the way we are. I like where we are. You seem like you do too, but you want more.. Well you do, but don't. You know its not possible. WE know its not possible. One day? Maybe, but for right now it seems like we know our grounds. I don't doubt that what we "have" is just an everyday & anyday thing. We have something special, with a deep history that we can some-what look back & laugh at. As much as it makes us distant it also connects us that much more. Let's just keep rockin' steady since we know where we stand. Fun right? Fun, yeah "queso"... :P

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Usually I'm the lovey dovey type, call me erry night so I can fall asleep on the phone type, butterflies in my tummy type, heart pumpin' cause you smiled type, oh man this boys got me sprung type, he's all I think about type, let love take over type, relationships are amazing type girl.

But lately I've been the he's cute he's cute oh and he's cute type, I talked to him and chilled with him type, btw I'm not looking to get into anything type, hella flirtatious type, party & bullsh*t type, dress to impress type, my love bone is numb type girl.

Truth be told that's what the story is. Love isn't even in my vocabulary anymore, unless I'm talking about dance or art. I feel a little heartless sometimes. I have my fun & my feelings for being loved or loving is turned off. Was it the calm break up? Is it the frustrating family dilemma? Is it the overdose of fun? What ever it is its making me stronger, and a little less heart full.. or just making me care less.

I'm becoming one of those people that can't give their all to just any John Doe that steps into my life. You gotta work for my emotions before I can let you in and start affecting my life. But the thing is, I don't want to let anyone in. I don't want to be attached. So I'll be upfront with anyone who wants to come in and "wants to get to know me." Boy, honestly all you need to know is that I'm not looking for anything, & I'm just having fun. And if want to get to know me, hang with me, give me friendship time, let me pay my own & we'll go our own ways at the end of the night.
I'm changing, and yep I'm admitting it. Hopefully this change isn't happening too fast for me to keep a good grasp and control.

**Thanks Jamie Jane.
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