How is it that my insides feel flooded.

Blooded; seeping through my weak feeling body.

How is it that my heart is broken

When it never really was fixed to begin with?

Still bleeding from the first shock of impact

That was created by

Your once stupid uncaring actions.

Played me for a fool

Played my heart for a tool.

You thought you could rule

... but it was just cruel.

Drip drip drop

I still hear the blood drippin'

I'm trippin'

Like it was on March 10

Same dark feelings

Room is spinning

Hurt & scared 'cause i'm lost

In my own world.

Trapped in my own body

Not sure of what to do

But just ..

Drip drip drop

The tears are now drippin'

They leave unseen stains

But my, my eyes puff up

Like i've been beat up.

My eyes can't lie

They don't lie.

I have been beaten

Beat by revealed secrets,

Broken promises,

& an ex-lovers ex-trust.

Beat up because it hit me real hard.

Like my tears

It leaves stains,

No scars.

Yet not on my body,

But on my heart.

Say what was once Love?

Help me find my way

Messing me up, my whole head
Teasing me, just like Tisha, did Martin
Now look at what you're starting
Schoolboy's crush and it ain't on the hush
The whole world sees it but you can't
My peoples they complain, sit and rave and rant
Your name is out my mouth like an ancient chant
Got me like a dog as I pause and pant...


Speaking of which, got a leash and I wish just to rock you miss
Make a militant move, peep my strategy
End of the day you're not mad at me
Not dealing with nobody, now that's what you told me
I said: "hey yo, it's cool, we can just be friendly"
'Cause yo, picture me messing it up
Her mind not corrupt with the ill C-Cups
Shit, I'm on my J.O.
Bullshitting, hoping that the day goes slow
Got me like a friend, what confuses me though
Is kisses when we greet, tell me what's the deal yo?


Now you caught my heart for the evening
Kissed my cheek, moved in, you confuse things
Should I just sit out or come harder?
Help me find my way.

new day; start fresh

I've come to notice that I haven't actually skipped a class in... a very long time now. Its weird. Going to a full week of school is normal now, sad I know but I think its funny :)

This being my last year in high school had just hit me the other day. Last high school dance competition this saturday.. EVER. Pretty sad, but I've made the most of it with leading the many practices for seniors, creating C3, and doing very well at competitions. But i was most proud of winning the Shirley "Temple" ;) jk Shirley Clement's award at Outbreak. They actually spelled my name right on the plaque. One "S" :D .  But so far 2nd semester has been real good to me. All the little things we've been doing like me and Rizzy's "i have to talk to you" conversations haha, blk B/ dance elite/ spare, C3 practices, creamcicles, photoshoots, checking out STUSSY&BLUESHOES ;) haha and so much more. I know i'm really going to miss these

 things. But i'll save the tears for grad. 

HA! Grad...

__

Sister usually asks me to go to the gym with her, and i usually have an excuse to say no. But yesterday i had none. So i had no choice but to get off my ass and go. Went to the Y and what'd i see? Practically all my school either working out or swimming. Didn't realize how many people actually go, including Stussy :P. I haven't actually ran nor worked out in... forever. I ran for longer then i thought i would and really worked out my body. Felt so refreshing after. I think i'm going to be going more often.

Sister and i got hungry so we headed to cactus after. Split one of the best chicken burgers i've ever had! So i ordered an extra one to go, for lunch today :) haha sad cause i'm actually anticipating lunch just for that. 

Got back home at 12 and passed out. Woke up sore.. of course but i feel really good. 

________________________________

Alright, so truth be told my last post was out of anger.  It happens, and sht gets to the best of all of us, yes? I got my time to cool off, i slept on in, and thought about how stupid it was to get mad. Blah blah blah we've all heard this before "its all done with." But its true! So.. lets just all drop it and move on. 

& yes i'm okay. Thanks BB for watching out. 

Word spreads like a wildfire in a dry forest

SHUT UP

Shut up!!!

You talk too much...
You talk too much...
You talk too much...
You talk too much...


Hey! You over there, I know about your kind

You're like the Independent Network News on Channel 9

Everywhere that you go, no matter where you at

I said you talk about this, and you talk about that

When the cat took your tongue, I say you took it right back

Your mouth is so big, one bite would kill a Big Mac

You talk too much You never shut up

I said you talk too much Homeboy you never shut up

You talk about people, you don't even know

And you talk about places, you NEVER go

You talk about your girl, from head to toe

I said your mouth's moving fast, and your brain's moving slow

You talk too much You never shut up!!

I said you talk too much Homeboy you never shut up

You're the instigator, the orator of the town

You're the worst when you converse, just a big mouth clown

You talk when you're awake, I heard you talk when you sleep

Has anyone ever told you, that talk is cheap

_____________________________________


Everythings in the past, why do you need to let others know when
they aren't even involved anymore. If i said shit to you then i said
it because i trust you, and i even said keep it dl. Yeah i know word
does spread. I expected it to happen eventually, but like why does
it directly go to that specific person. He doesn't need to know whats
going on with me, and i don't need to know whats going on with him.
PEOPLE SHITS DONE WITH, talk about your own lives.




Was having a perfect weekend till this..
W/e this weekend was still dope but next weekend
WILL be better :)

fri: proD + C3 showcase in richmond

saturday: SH+C3 competing at Parorama Ridge + Party

sunday: SSS practice

____________________________________________



On a lighter note heres saturday...

Control

He's got every move in control. Where he places each hand, how he wants his body to look, where his wave will follow through and his pop will hit which beat. That's fkcing control. That's also fcking sexy.. pardon my french. *sigh...

Gaaddamnn

Yet another amazing dancer.. MARIEL MARTIN. I adore her style. She's the one with the really short hair, wearing a vest shorts and boots, and mainly in the front & centre. Her choreo is just... brilliant. Hence why i adore her style. And i can't believe she used Little Bit & Maps! When i first heard maps from RockBand i fell in love with it, but never had the right creative mind set at the time to make the right fitted choreo for it. Same with Little Bit. I knew those songs could be played out so well with the right moves, but they just weren't in my mind yet. And here we have Mariel Martin 8 counts ahead of me. Ahh shes a goddess!

Song List:

Apes and Androids- Golden Prize

Lykke Li- Little Bit

Sam Sparro- Black and Gold

Adele- Crazy for you

Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Maps

MOUSE&BIGBURR

OKAY, so i'm leaving for vernon in about an hour!

Been procrastinating..
Been up all night..
BUT i haven't packed yet.

i should go do that now.

bye,

till monday

till 3 in the am

Juice is in town.

Its sucks cause your only here for the 2 weeks, but when you come back for my debut.. you'll be back before you know it.

1 more year.. don't worry, winnipeg ain't that bad.

"As if i'm moving down here."

"Did you drink some haterade this morning?"

"Cesar & Babes House of Lub"

Haha!!!

_________________________________

Lykke Li - Little Bit

Favourite song right now



Same song ; Different version
Ft. Drake ... Just as good as the og

stupid for who?




...one N & one S

this goes to you, you, you, you, & you.

Sorry to break it to you like that. But thanks for understanding. I know you'll be there, much appreciated. Hope I helped you somehow.

Sorry I don't answer your calls. Humm I hope your friends don't fill you up with things to make you believe that this is more then it is.

Sorry ive been so busy every saturday. We'll go one day soon. I promise... I'm looking forward to it.

Im glad our friendship is changing into.. This haha. "Teach [you] how to love"
Thanks for making my heart smile.
_______________________

Look I'm out of your way. I don't want to deal with anything near this. If you didn't find out it wouldnt have effected you in anyway so what's the deal? Don't try to think I'm pulling anything on you cause itsnot evenlike that. I'm just as done with this as you are. I'm happy with my life right now. I'm sure your doing fine too, so let's not deal with this. At all. "even you should be able to understand that"

Blame it on the 
a a a a a alcohol

Life's been soo good to me lately. Best balance of good and bad yesterday. 

2.5 hour interview yesterday planning out my future place of studies. It did go very well. Let's just hope july isn't so packed. 

Went to eat out with the father, the brother, the sister, and the sisters boyfriend. Yummy wonton.. But we we're too late for wontons. Sucks. 

Headed for work. Pretty slow for a saturday. "Everybody is in town besides the Filipinos and the white kid" haha stupid Hayden. OH as I headed back to the front from seating a table down a kind man I asked me to come over to his table. He said "ill trade you one of these (holding a 10) for one of these (holding an empty pint of beer)" so I told him ill just let your server know. But he's like no you take this and get me the drink and you can keep the rest. I was kinda shocked cause his tip was just as much as the drink haha. I think that was my highlight at work :)

I got of real early so I headed over and met up with chad tyrone and jelyssa. Let me sum up the night..

Uhh happy birthday? 

Awkward "hellos"
Blunt "what's ups?"
Bad still shots
Wine in my cup
Many "I miss yous"
Also "I like you guys" ( hahaian!)

"Yo your a parto?"
& a lot of "what's your name again?"

Cliques over here
Cliques over there
The Dj spinnin
The intoxicated dancing
Filled up couches 
Flash photography 
"5-o-5-o"
Cops killed the party 

Haha never thought I'd see the day. 

A TASTE OF SUMMER

Yeserday I was very fortunate. Sam & I had switched shifts so I had the day off. Last block of school was dance elite/spare so I left early with Bryan because he too had the day off extra early. So we decided to enjoy the rare beautiful day have a small taste of summer. Actually icecream :) New icecream/gelato place in the newton area, =\ i forget what it's called. I think it's because i hardly get any sleep anymore cause of the crackberry. Less sleep = slow working mind. Anyways the icecream was real satisfying. But since we didn't know what else to do with the gorgeous weather we decided to watch a movie in my basement. Haha total opposite of soaking up the nice day. BUT it was cool. I believe that was the 1st time watching "Gone in 60 seconds." Angelina was skinny, blue eyed, and blond. Looked a little bit junkie but she kind of pulled it off.
The sun was still out by the time our movie ended, and actually the sun didn't go down until around 8:30.. it made me smirk a little. Just knowing how close summer is, and what's going to be coming up makes my heart smile.

AppleJui

ceBackgr

oundMus

icShorts&

Sunglass

esUnread

TextMsgs

Heatfrom

theSunCr

eamsicles

Selah

sehlav/say-love

understand that I need my space. But don't think that just because I said no doesn't mean that we can't be friends. I need you to understand that when I say no, it simply means no. Don't over think it. But when I give you the green light, I don't want you taking that as an invitation to a "crowed my space" or "call me every second" type yes. Surprise surprise, a yes is simply a yes. And thats all you need to know.

Actually there's one more thing. If you want to talk to me, just say so. You don't need to make an excuse about something you forgot to mention, or something you made up. Its unneccesaary to be playing games with me. Your intentions are clear, but you already know where u stand. I'm not going to explain myself everytime you push it. Know where we stand. Everythings pretty clear and litteral.
K.I.S.S. = keep it simple stupid




Selah/se-lahv/saylove

"hey hun"
"sup love?"

the way the words are spoken

the flow of sweetness to my ears

it doesn't mean much but it is something new

makes me smirk, and bite my lip

'cause i'm lost for words

and i choke on my own breath

all of this really is nothing

still, it gives me that open door to reality

that its not over

happiness is right there

you just got to let it in.

thanks for knocking on my door.

oh btw..

thanks for giving me that boost of confidence,

i'll keep making those.. *ahem* you know

haha make me famous ;)

A SPECIAL MENTION

You're a true leader you know that? Even though we only stepped in for 10 mins or so i got a lot out of watching you take over like that. It's been interesting seeing you grow into what you are now, even though it has been from a far ever since I moved and changed schools. From checking you out from a far when you were in metal works and i was in woodworking (haha gr8), to watching you write poems in orca lane when we'd be hella early for school, to hearing you out at poetry slams, to making your own shows at school. I'm proud to have a friend like you. You may not know it, but it is a true inspiration to watch you evolve into who you are and what you have accomplished today. I'm proud of you. Keep doing what you're doing cause your good at doing it. Haha :)

FA ; "FRANKIS"

-selah/se-lahv/saylove

______________________________________________________

Oh baby you, oh baby me, oh maybe we..

I really feel like making choreo to this song..
with Joe L. as inspiration <3>

SO SIMPLE

...perfect weather

Its so beautiful outside. The sun is just singing for attention and the wind felt like rocking steady today. The rain, hail, and snow decided to go I vacation and thats fine by me. The weather is almost in complete control with how my emotions will swing that day. But today was a little different. I felt that special high from the sun, and dressed up a little differently, but i wasn't able to be as happyas the weather was telling me to be. The happiness was forced through today, I'm going to have to admit that. I wasn't frontin all of it though. I pulled a couple genuine smiles and cracked a few laughs that were burried underneith the hurt and anger. My emotions, my thoughts, and the atmosphere just wasn't in sync. Clashing to make me believe that I was feeling one way but I was thinkinganother. But its not like I was acting out of the norm. Was just feeling off edge.

The sun is gorgeous. Okay I cracked another smile : )



Selah
SeLAH-v
Say love

CUPCAKES, SPOTS & SHIPS

Generation Girls - Kucha's - Noodle Parties

Missed you girls. Its been a while hasn't it. You moved into your new place in Sept and yesterday was my first time there. Haha it has been long. Last time we ate cupcakes was that last time we were were in Guildford. I had to get home still "full" on cupcakes. Freaking out cause I couldn't control myself, haha scared to death "Nek I'm going to die, nek i can't control myself, nek i feel like I'm in a game!" haha that was so funny. That was the day you gave me your pepper spray, hoping I'd get home safe. I did, but was hella paranoid haha. Yesterday gave me flashbacks from that day, but i handled it. It was probably all the breakfast food from Dedutch was what held me down. So good. Anyways I missed you girls.

______________________________________________


Blogs are spots to let you talk about what ever you want. A lot of people use it for spots to let their feelings out. "Honestly expressing yourself ". I can't do that here. That kind of stuff is personal. I rather not have my feelings and personal life out in the public for people to read and talk about. My real blog spot is here.

______________________________________________



Hearts are in different places

Minds are set at different paces

Words are being thrown out in the open with out going through the mind.

Everything that has happened, happened.

So I'm accepting it, and looking forward.

Stepping back so you can breath.

I put you through a lot,

and that pushed you towards hate for me.

I wish I could say sorry for how big this problem came to be.

But it actually wouldn't matter would it?

I think that friendSHIP has sailed,

and i just watched it go.

Not in hate, nor sadness,

not really in confusion either.

Just amazed how far and fast that ship sailed away.

I would have preferred if that ship never set sail.

But the passengers were just waiting for that anchor

to be dug out from the sand it was buried in and let free.

That anchor that held it back..

I guess you could see what that anchor was.

Everything that happened,

happened for a reason.

That's the way i look at it,

and since i look at it in that way

it is helping me accept everything for what it turned out to be.

you know when i said "i still.... & always will" i ment it, & still do. takecare

not since GR6

I didn't see this day coming back. But it's official. The Parto sibling's are now living under one roof once again. This hasn't happened since i was in the 6th grade. It took a total of 6 years of moving from house to house. Shall i map it out..

gr.5
mom's house: ryan, vanessa, & me
dad's house: -

gr.6-9
mom's house: ryan, & me
dad's house: vanessa

(half of grade 9 i moved out)

gr.9-11
mom's house: ryan
dad's house: vanessa & i

gr.12
mom's house: ryan & me
dad's house: vanessa

but as of today its back to
mom's house: ryan, vanessa, & me

and my dads living with his girl, as well as my mom's bf is living with us.

amazing isn't it? i really do love my siblings, though i don't speak of them very often.
My brother Ryan, who is 5 years older than i, had recently got his first gig for DJing at C..C... uhm i forget the club. Its a strip club during the week, but on the weekend its a night club. The other day he was telling me about it. Explaining to me how many compliments he was getting, and i could tell just from the glow in his face and the way he told his story that he was proud, and i was proud of him. He's really into his music. His expertise: HIPHOP-HOUSE. Its the new thing my friends, get into it. You'll be hearing it more often. This is he..

DJ DEXTER

By the time i'm legal to hit up the clubs he should be DJing for the bigger clubs, at least the ones i'll remember, or know of haha. Well at least i hope. From what i'm hearing from other people, and how he scratches at home i know he's got the potential. I'm one of his biggest fans. Yah yah shadddup. I love my kuya : )

As of my sister, well she's doing big things too. Currently working at ULounge in white rock, she is def one big indepentant diva. Sometimes its a bother.. but shes my sister, that's what shes there for. Shes soon going to be bar tending at nightclubs.. or thats what she implied. Either way shes doing her thing and doing it well.

Then theres me. Still underage so i'm not all up in that club scene but my time will come. And when its my turn i'll be dancing on the floor like there's no tomorrow. Or at least thats what i think i'll be doing. Who knows, maybe i wont be so into that clubbing scene hitting up the clubs every weekend, club hoppin', drinking till loose my memory. We'll thats not for another year and some, so we'll wait till then.

_____________________________________________________

SPRING BREAK! no no wait...

SPRANG BROKED!

Where'd my moniez go?
Still waiting on some incoming cash flow, and i get paid on wednesday. So i'll be good after that. Didn't realize that my Spring Break would be this busy. I thought i'd just be going thru with day-by-day sht. But nope. I got a schedual and i'm still trying to fit people in. Weird, that never happens haha. Well i guess its better that i'm keeping occupied. I wouldn't want to stay home anyways. My mind thinks too much when i'm at home, and not always in a good way. So this busy thing going on in my life is a good push away from the usual overthinking side of me.

SB OVER LOOK

fri:
-WORK

sat:
-KARL's BDAY!
-JOJO's house class at Harbour
-WILL's house - CUT TYRONES HAIR WOO!
(but gino obviously went over it haha)

sun:
-SSS practice
-ME TIME

mon(today):
-ME TIME
-BIGRIDGE STAFF PARTY! ****

details shall we?

All staff members who were planning on going met up at BigRidge at 6. We all got on our bus and had some drinks. It took a lot less time then i thought. Or i just was enjoying it too much to notice how long the actual travel was haha. We got there and it was getting cloudy. So as soon as we got our cards we ran to the go karts since they were outside. Luckily for our group we got to go first. The last two groups got it bad. The snow came pouring down so they were soaked by the time they got back in haha! Played some DDR, bunch of mini games, DEAL OR NO DEAL and (saved the best for last) "BUMPER CARS WOOOOOO"! Hahaha that was the best part of the whole trip at CASTLE FUN PARK. The ride back was pretty fun too. Many of the staff members were still pretty drunk so they had some interesting conversations. It was almost like being on a party bus just without dancing. Oh how i miss party buses. Our bus was playing Family Guy, so that was another source of entertainment adding on to ppl watching on drunk staff members haha! Now i know how they are outside of work haha. BUT big ups to the man of the night BOSS CHRIS/ MR. FUNK. He was more cool with everything then i thought he would be.

I love BigRidge!

OBAMA meet SELAH

1st time for everything

i got to shave a part of bry1's hair today! woo

TRAINING DAY!
BAD ASS MOVIE
(as in: it was so so so good)

kept my mind occupied...



:( for a while at least.


we're going to make SB worth while!
Alice in Wonderland & Book of illusions here we come hahaha!

Hearing a lot of

"HE SAID..."

"SHE SAID..."

"BUT DON'T TELL THEM I TOLD YOU THAT..."

If something is known that I should know, don't tell me unless I'm allowed to know or I'm allowed to say something about it. Even if its something you think i should know the truth about, I rather not know. And if you do tell me, and its something that is effecting me, don't expect me to keep my mouth shut. You lost some-ones trust when you told me cause you broke a promise to keep your mouth shut, so it is bound to come out in some form of karma.

I just don't want to hear it, or deal with it. So i rather not know.

_______________________________________________

IDC weekend was an eye opener. Found out a lot about the members of sickStylz, and got another source of inspo. I had a real good time. I was happy with how it all went down, with the good and the bad. It was just a perfect amount of both sides. BUT i'll save the details for my "dancelife."

_______________________________________________

Been disconnected this whole weekend. So i haven't had a chance to read what everybody has been posting. But it looks like not a lot has changed, i'm glad i didn't miss out on that much. 

hum... i'm actually not sure where i'm going with this.

new topic 

Back to reality: 

-once we got back, it all started going down. the same bs. don't need it, don't give it to me. 

-this will be my annual day to repent  ; i'm sorry ; i'm ashamed

-BILLS BILLS BILLS

-what money?

-due dates, projects

love isn't reality, it is..

something i'm just not feeling right now. 

bad vibes 

intentions rise

damn

i just want out.

its so early right now, i haven't eaten breakfast

and i don't know what i'm saying. 

"I'm just a [girl] whose intentions are good, oh lord please don't let me be misunderstood"

TREAT YOU GOOD

Heard you and your man was beefin'

Thought I should come and see ya

To find out if you needed anything

Was wonderin' if you need a lil change

I've been knowin' you bout forever

I was thinkin if we got together

It just might be the truth

Perfect for me and you

Now looky here I got somethin for you to hold

And I don't care who may see it who may know

Cuz' I want ya so bad

And girl you know I'm a g

So I aint takin no for an answer Cuz' I would like to see if we could

[Chorus]

Kiss a lil bit

Hug a lil bit

Touch a lil bit

Maybe rub a lil bit

I'm the man of your dreams you know that im me

Baby can't you see I treat you good

Just a little

Kiss you on your lips

The ones past your hips I wanna keep it hood

Just a little

The one like he aint

Do things that he can't I wanna say

I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it girl

Lemme hear you say

I need it I need it I need it I need it I need it boy

[Verse 2]

Is it wrong to feel like this

Is it bad to have you here

For you I have much respect I don't want you to regret

Steppin up at how you do

Even though you know it's the right move

Even though you know it's an upgrade

Even though you know if you know you wanna stay

Looky here I got somethin' for you to hold

And I don't care who may see or who may know

Cuz' I want you so bad ooh

Girl you know I'm a g

I aint takin' no for an answer

Cuz I wanna see

[Chorus]

Kiss a lil bit

Hug a lil bit

Touch a lil bit

Maybe rub a lil bit

I'm the man of your dreams and all that you need

Baby can't you see

I treat you good

Just a little

Kiss you on your lips

The ones past your hips

I wanna keep it hood

Just a little

The one like he aint

Do things that he can't

I wanna say

I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it girl and if you nedd it

Lemme hear you say I need it I need it I need it I need it I need it boy

[Bridge]

Do you have the time to stay tonight

Ohhh ohhh ohhh baby

Do you have the time to stay for life

Woahh Cuz our lovin was good

Girl by now you should know

There's no way

I'm gonna let you go

I don't mean to bring the pressure

But girl I'll be a fool if I up and just

Let you go

Girl you know

I wanna treat you good

[Chorus]

Just a little

Kiss you on your lips

The ones past your hips

I wanna keep it hood

Just a little the one like he aint

Do things that he can't baby

I wanna say I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it girl and if you need it

Lemme hear you say I need it I need it I need it I need it I need it

Boy do you have the time to stay tonight do you have the time to stay for life

K.I.S.S.

Past few days have been reaaal good to me. I'm not even sure why, but my cheeks have been hurting cause i've been smiling so much. It feels good, it feels so damn good. Maybe cause the suns been peeking through, maybe cause schools been light, maybe cause my moms been understanding me, maybe cause IDCs coming up! Oh mann LG... as in Life's Good! : )

I'm seriously loving my Lit class. We have one of the best teachers. Mrs. Winters. First class I had with her I was very intimidated! Not going to lie, she looks like an evil cartoon character.. like she could be Cruela Devil. She even does the red nail polish and sometimes lipstick. She's def not afraid to call you out on ANYTHING! But over all shes real chill. After she's done teaching us what we have to learn she'll give us a break. She'd be like "okay well i don't want to start anything new so you guys can just chill, just don't kill each other" and there would still be like 20mins left of class haha. But no even the work is pretty fun, but at the same time we learn what we have to know. We get the best of both worlds.

Last day we had our student teacher come in as well. Our group of 3 had to understand this poem, really didn't catch my interest, it was the end of the day, and I just wasn't getting it. We were going through it with him, and i kept over analyzing everything. That's when he said it. K.I.S.S. which meant Keep It Simple Stupid. Haha he said the phrase first so i was a little dumbfounded when he called me stupid, but then he said "K.I.S.S." and explained. Haha, i thought it was pretty interesting, and very catchy. Oh lit12.

Blk B / Dance Elite / Spare ... what ever you want to call it, is getting more interesting every block. A few blks back we started to bring back old games. WAIT hold up, even before that we had a huge rant about "pickuplines" haha check out the video on FB! But anyways i brought up the "BEAT 1" clapping game. We ( who ever knew this game) tried to remember all the beats and taught it to the rest of the blk. Then the next blk we had we learned the rest of it, and also brought up the "AHHH BIIIG BOOTY BIG BOOTY BIG BOOTY UH HUH AHH YEAH BIG BOOTY UH HUH" clapping game. Hahaha so fun. We had the biggest circle made in the hub and just were yelling like we didn't care. Mann our thighs were hurting from slapping them. GOOD STUFF.

ANOTHER REASON WHY I ENJOY WORKING AT BIGRIDGE:
So I was bussing Friday night, and this family of 6 comes in. They are one of our usuals so I've seen them come in before. And so Kaela (one of our hostesses) seats them down, and passes by me and says "those kids love you," and I was confused. I didn't get how they "loved me" haha. There are 2 little boys (twins) around the age of 4/5, and 2 little girls at the age of 6/7. As i was bussing around the tables around them i noticed them looking at me smiling and giggling. I thought it was cute, but a bit awkward haha. So i went to go run some food to their table. As i did so their dad spoke up and was like "you see these 2 girls, and these 2 boys here? Well they love you. As soon as we walked in they were like 'shes here, shes working again!'" Throughout the night the one of the twins kept eyeing me throughout the night and smiling and waving. I thought it was the most cutest things! Then as i came by the table his dad was like "okay go give it to her" and he gave me a flower he made out of the Wiki sticks we put in the kids menu boxes. He was so sweet! I had the biggest "awe" look on my face said my thank you and gave him a hug. After i did that his sisters were laughing and said "ha ha your so happy" and were teasing their little brother. As they were leaving their family was at the door and the little boy came up to me again, and his dad gave him that extra push once again to say what he had to say. So the little boy came to me and asked me if i was going to be working again next week. HAHA IT WAS SO DAMN ADORABLE! I was so sad because i had to tell him that I wasn't because i was going to be in Seattle, but i told him that i would be there next week. Again his sisters were teasing and said "haha you got sad!" and they too made me little gifts out of their Wiki sticks. It really made my night. Haha that little boy is going to be one smooth guy with the ladies :) haha!



SHOUT OUT TO MY
SHORTIE BOO BIG BURR**
a.k.a. RAWB ,
waahhhssssup?!
thanks for not coming with me to get my shoes
and going to the states! Hum.. so much for making
your tattoo! Haha jk. KAY happy?!
better bee hummmmmm


saved the best for last:
*I.D.C. IN 5 DAYS
*NO SCHOOL FRIDAY
*SEATTLE ALL WEEKEND
*DANCE DANCE DANCE
*SICKSTYLZ 1st TIME OUT THERE
*DUO [ CAS&CARMEN ]
*FRESHGROOVE&PRAISETEAM
**ITS GONNA BE HELLA FUN**

Sup love?

Today I was late for skew. WHY? Well cause I thought that I pressed snooze but accidentally turned it off, oops. We had early dismissal today, so I was pretty happy. Double blocks of Art, lunch, and then double blocks of Photography. I love wednesdays.

Art was productive. I stuck to the usual routine. Come in, sit at the tables, set my stuff down, grab my piece, my tools, the ink and that extra sheet of paper, plug in my ipod, check my phone, msg back anyone who's msged me, and start working. Once I start I try not to get myself destracted cause I don't like starting a project and then loosing concentration. I'd had a few mistakes on this piece already because of my carelessness and misconcentration. But sht happens. Can't wait till its done. I'm actually pretty proud of it :)
SO FAR THIS IS WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO...






LUNCH PERIOD : was spent in the dance room. Riz & I just kinda chilled, listened to music, and caught up with our sittuations, kind of.. haha.

Photography class has been real productive now. I got a lot of shots taken for the "ME & MY WORLD" project we've been working on since the begining of the semester. I guess i could say i'm half way done, but I still got lots of editing to do. Its amazing what you can do on adobe. I've learnt how to use the auto____ buttons today. Haha one of the most easiest things and I didn't really know it existed till today. Makes life a lot easier. We have to take at least 12 different photos, edit them and make sure they have a certain photocomposition to go with it. I've got 5 completed so far. The other pictures are already taken, they've just got to be edited.

Its pretty cool when you look at the before and afters right beside one another. There's one that isn't up here because a certain someone isn't comfortable with it being posted up. Haha i'll get it up eventually but for now these 4 will be available to view.





AFTER SKEW headed to guildford. Missed my 1st bus cause it came early, and what do you know, it was SNOWING. I wouldn't be surprised if we had a tornado come in. Weathers that messed up. But I caught the next 341GUILDFORD, half an hour later. Got to JH by 3:20 or something. Funniest thing happened on the way. I was so stuck on my crackberry that I wasn't watching where I was walking, and then me and my umbrella crashed into a tree that was very low! Haha I felt so embarassed i stopped and looked around to see if anyone saw me. HAHA nobody did! Well at least from what I saw. I rushed into JH cause it was so cold and walked into my exschool. Ahh I miss is so much. Did what we do best. Stayed in the caf and chilled there for quite some time. We played MAFIA. Haha I was the mafia almost everytime! I don't like being mafia, i couldn't come up with good reasons for why i wasn't the mafia haha.





Oh well. Ended up heading to Guildford, eating in the foodcourt, then headed home. Mom didn't know i ate out, so she made me eat again! HOLY, my body cannot take that much food in one hour, but i did it.
I got to stop stuffing myself and indulging in every thing i crave..... CHOCOLATE. Haha everyday.. its horrible. BUT ITS OKAY cause i'm starting to "workout".. not really, just kinda do some things in the morning or before i sleep. I stay fit somehow. But one day my motabolizm will drop. But thats not today so who really cares? :)

HAHA k BYE

Right now

Very into house music right now. Its all I hear at home cause of my brother. But I love it. Its so easy to pop to, actually free style in general. Yeah, house music... Its good!

Saturday was fun?
details and pictures will come soon enough.

Right now my body feels all shaky. Like I drank an energy drink. But I didn't I just was stretching for a really long time and I feel very strange. Awkward actually. Guess I should sleep/ rest. Bye

Right now

Very into house music right now. Its all I hear at home cause of my brother. But I love it. Its so easy to pop to, actually free style in general. Yeah, house music... Its good!

Saturday was fun?
details and pictures will come soon enough.

Right now my body feels all shaky. Like I drank an energy drink. But I didn't I just was stretching for a really long time and I feel very strange. Awkward actually. Guess I should sleep/ rest. Bye

No more

first and foremost, i want to say that i need a major update. but times not on my side at the moment so i got to put that aside for now.

So here it is. Yeah, this is no more. Not saying that i want this. I don't want it to be like this. I want it to be the exact opposite. But forces aren't going to let that happen. I never wanted it to be going down this road, but here i am walking and trying to hard not to look back. I still do and i let little things slide by and excuse some circumstances, but i guess i shouldn't be. You know it too, that's why you do the things you do. Its better that your not letting me in. Even though i wish you would, i'm glad you don't. I fully understand the situation. The way I'm handling it though is another story. Been strong enough to save that roll of toilet paper i would have wasted and bathed in while i slept. Been strong enough to bite my tongue instead of say all the things running through my mind. Been strong enough to keep going with my daily routines with out letting myself get sidetracked by this dilemma running through the back of my mind, and the bottom of my heart. Happiness wont come in on its own. I got to let it in and not block it out with this "lock of problem" i hold the key to. I really hope you know why i did this. Why i'm doing this. I don't want this, but its just how it has to be, unless we really want to keep sinking into this mess of re-runs. Cause if we kept going we'd be locked in infinity. We both know that. Well at least i think we do...

I do miss "[that] type love" (shihan). Remember when you showed me that? And that time you also showed me "every woman." back when things were simple, things were sweet, things were happy. That was then. This is now, and that's what i miss. Or or remember when your parents gave us that talk in their room? Or even when you picked me up every morning before school. Or how about that time "CitySand" was born. Damn.. okay okay i got to stop, i know. Okay hold up, last one...
When people used to ask us how we made our relationship look so good. No drama, no stress. PDA was set at perfect pace. People envied our relationship. We held it down, you got me, and i got you. Or had..

But no more. We know our place. We're friends. We're good. I got to understand that meaning of friendship and hope i don't cross any lines. Haha it happens when you let your feelings get carried away. This is whats right, and what has to be done.

Still do
Hate you.

SUNday

One of my favorite days of the week. WHY?

Because:

its SUNday

Sickstylz Practice

& cause its the end of the week.. or is it the beginning? humm, either way its good.

_______________________________________

I did it!

I pulled out the summer attire! 

Nike blazers
TR shorts
AA white tee
La Riva jacket
H&M shades
Hairs tied up, ipod plugged in

I'm set. What's up summer?

SO FAR SO GOOD...

(i haven't been able to finish my thoughts in my blogs latley. Why? cause i would have to get off the computer, but i'm going to get it done this time.)


All day, i knew it was going to suck, but at least i didn't feel sad. Not until now at least. Slow songs start playing, but i can't seem to turn it off. This is torture, but i'm holding up. No tears so far, no major pain, just a bit on the down side thats all. Only an hour and a half left...

Woo saaahh, i got this.

How do i describe my emotion in one word?

*SIGH*

yup, that would be the best word.
Not letting it happen, nuh uh.
Okay, good job cas. Still an hour and a half to go...





sucks.

a bit of sun, a bit of sand, a bit of city, a bit of avacado, a bit of chocolate. Sall i need. Yeah



PS: "HE's just not that into me"

i mean her ;)

GOOD MOVIE - very "chick flick" but also funny
WELL RECOMENDED

Drama Love & 'Lationships.

SHIT WAS GOOD up until yesterday. 1st week of school, i didn't miss a class for the entire week. But friday morning i was late for class (first omen). 2nd block comes around, (dance elite/spare) and we did sht all. As this spare goes on, we all got to talking. Then i found out some bad news (2nd omen). This news really killed it for me.

DIDn'T FINISH THIS BLOG EITHER

FLASHBACK

"And uhh any way you can catch me any day sippin' hennessay.. // .. I'm sitting on the side of the curb with a pocket of herb.."

Was sitting here with Carmen looking for some songs. Thats when we came across this song right here "Make it hot" by Nicole ft. Missy E. This was one of the first songs where i made myself learn the lady rap parts. Haha those lyrics will be forever memorized by heart, seriously. Even though i've known this song since.. gr.5 (about 7 years ago) i've never seen the music video for it till this very day....

DIDn'T FINISH THIS BLOG

INDULGE; THESUN&AVOCADO

woke up underneath a pile of unfolded laundry. why? because i didn't want to put my clean clothes on the floor, and i was too tired after work to fold it all. throughout the day i spent majority of the time organizing my whole room. my dunnies are finally back on display, no more hiding in that shoe box, you can see the light. speaking of light, the SUN WAS GORGEOUS today. the whole time i was cleaning my room i was just listening to music with my windows wide open enjoying the presence of the sunlight shining in my room. you could imagine how good it felt to feel the sun again. it really is almost a cure for my emotions. i know its cliche, but I LOVE THE SUN! ahhhhh 

after all the organizing and folding, and 'advantage taking of the sun' i headed to work. dressed up all pretty cause i was hostesing tonight. as i was standing there looking like a hostess, i was watching the food go by, and i saw that salad i had last week. the one with the chicken, goat cheese, and avocado! then i started to crave avocado. well not just avocado, avocado milkshake! so i asked graem (floor manager) if i could buy a full avocado from the kitchen. Head chef said yes, for 2bucks! kinda expensive, but at the end of the night graem didn't make me pay for it haha. So i asked the bartender if he could blend it up for me. you know, avocado, milk, and ice. then once he gave it to me i added 7 packs of sugar haha :) i know its a lot but its so good, if you tasted it you wouldn't complain! everybody in the kitchen, and almost all of the staff was wondering what the heck i was doing. making an avocado into a drink?! haha ohh white people.  they thought i was crazy and that it would not taste very good. HA i proved them wrong. they got all curious on me and gave in for a taste. even boss chris liked it. it was actually better then i usually make it. i think it was the blender. either way it tasted good, and this little asian didn't look so crazy to the caucasians anymore :) and thats the moral of the story. 

.. haha JK

TIMES ARE GOOD

WOW 1st semester is DONE. Have you noticed how sunny it was a few days ago? It honestly felt like summer. It made my spirit just lift up throughout the day. And now that we are currently going through the semester break (no school right now) i've been feeling like its summer. Done with school, no homework, or test to be worrying about, doing sht all during the day, and just going to work. It's all making me anticipate summer. By that time i'll be out of high school. OH MY, i hardly look like I'm out of elementary ha ha. But its all good. 2nd semester is going to be FABULOUS! History- not a problem, art- "[i] can do what ever [i] like", dance- should i even explain?, and art again - :) .  Times are good.

my phone is pretty out dated (1st blackberry created, you know the one that looks like a blue brick ;) and my plan is ending on the 25th of nov. SO i got it renewed today, so i have a new data plan by mid-night, and my new phone (bb curve8900) should be coming in the next 3-5 bidnuss days. YUP. after 3 years, of switching from a silver razor, or a pink razor, to this outdated blackberry. FINALY!

BTW "LOVELY BONES" by ALICE SEBOLD,  is such a good read! 

WELL RECOMMENDED!

DIET - mine is horrible. i've been eating A LOT lately, its not exactly effecting me, but i know the stuff i've been eating is just not healthy. You know, pizza, chicken chow mein, high5 (chocolate cake), and all that BigRidge kind of food. And i eat so much of it. I feel that i should cut a few things out, cause its just not healthy! Everyones saying that one day it will hit me, and i'm just waiting for that day. Maybe then i'll actually create a diet for myself haha. BUT until then i'm going to enjoy my fatty foods while i can :)

i cannot get enough of my high5 cake. everybody at work always asks me "Cas, are you getting your usual tonight?" and for a while our restaurant ran out of my cake! They told me that the restaurant never used to run out of the high5s until i started working there. Haha i've had a piece of high5 cake almost every shift i've worked. Its horrible. Haha :) Oh well.

OK so listen and watch this.. SO VERY GOOD :) makes me happy haha. ONE

TRAVIS MCCOY, BE MY VALENTINE?

SO NO, i didn't go to lilwayne&tpains concert. Yeah i missed gymclassheroes :(
when will they ever come back? I don't know, but i hope its soon.

Isn't he just ... <3, yeah he is =D


was searching up Rles. and found her. Shes so cute, so good, and i'm so jealous haha
but i love this video. kind of "addicted"... if you were a Ryanleslie fan you would get it ;)

CHECK IT OUT.

currently chilling at work sitting in table C. Yeah my table :) haha and I'm waiting for my food to arrive. It is my first time odering this 7oz. Halibut so we'll see how this all works out. I actually haven't hosted in a while. I got so used to busing it was hard for the first hour alone. Hosted with Richelle tonight. Always fun cause she's hillarious, especially when she zones out! Always makes me laugh. Its was busy tonight , as every Saturday night is. Huge line at the door but obviously Richelle and i ripped it up. Shoot we could handle anything. So there's a new busset in town. She's in her 20s I'm guessing and there is just one thing that bugs me about her. She does my pet peeve! You know, when a stranger calls you "sweetie" or "hunnie"... IT just REALLY gets to me. Its not like you really know me that well so why are you calling me that? I don't understand! Other then that one thing she is extremely nice and sweet.

So I got my dinner. Ummm sauteed halibut is a very yummy! And these mash potatoes are buttered up like crazy! Sooooo goooood! Who ever made this made it with love. I can taste it! Hahaha

This really is a useless blog to read but I am inasanely bored.
One of the best things about working in a restaurant is the unlimited drinks! Fricken icetea all day non-stop! I love it!!

I'm in a good mood :)

This fish is really good.

I feel like dancing.

Haha ok I don't think this specific blog could be any more lame. So good bye.


Oh and yeah I have another blogspot! Its not replacing this one. This blog (selah) is for my blogs that are more about daily ish. You know what ever pops up in my head kinda ish. And my new blog (dancelife) is well basically my blogs about what's going on with my dance life haha pretty self explanitory but yet I still explained it anyways, wooow lame! Haha so check it out, it looks kinda cool but its still in the making!

This is my dancelife! Enjoy