Wow i forgot what shopping was like.
UPDATE LATERRRRR
alright i'm back.
i should be sleeping right now since i open tomorrow morning but i just got home and i've been meaning to get this edition out for sometime, but i just needed for this to happen 1st.
Here it is. So many things have been up and coming in my life, and good things too. New things. Been going through new things, feelings new feelings, getting new gear, doing new ish, and just feeling fresh ( yeah yeah i know "feeling fresh" , very over used but thats honestly how i've been feeling). Life's good. I'm happy. I can say that, and know that its so true that it feels good to say it. When someone asked me how i was doing this week, i told them like i usually do and said, "i'm good" and thats when i had an epiphany. I realised that things are good, not the greatest, not amazing, not super, but good. Good as in happy, as in satisfying, as in taking everything as it is worth and nothing for granted. Life is good.
I've been keeping organized with my life. Having my schedule is a big deal to me. With out it i'm a bit lost. Yeah sometimes i have to work in friends into my schedule, but it works out and i make the most of my days off. I had too much time on my hands before starting to work. And i was pretty stupid with it. But when things go according to plan, its like you have nothing to worry about cause things are going the way things are supposed to. Not that i wouldn't mind some inconveniences along the way cause it could be handled, but it just feels better that way.
With this whole planning thing, i've been having my own time as well. Now i'm making my time worth it.
Missing my usual hobbies so i thought i should get back to that. Especially drawing. I understand i lost my touch with words, so i don't exactly bother trying to write anymore. But i keep practicing with my drawings and doodles. And as for dance.. well i've been practicing in the studio here and there, so im good with that. Haha i made a new move yesterday. Its a pretty fly move. I'm proud. But i think i'm already over rating it haha. :)
And now since i've been getting back to myself, i've also been realizing things i should have realised long long time ago. I guess i already knew it, i just never took the initiative to take self control and do something about it. But having this time got me thinking. Thinking about how i react to things, or actually how i shouldn't be reacting to things. Seeing the differences between my NEEDS and my WANTS. Thus showing me how i should strive and think more about my needs and leaving my wants to being only a privilege. Again, not taking the things that i want and have for granted.
Going on with needs and wants, got me thinking. I think i would like to see a major debate about "is money really something we need in life?". Now that would be a crazy debate (man i miss philosophy class). I think money is something we DON'T need, but in today's society its almost mandatory if we want to survive this crazy world. But i have to say, i like having my money. It feels so good to be earning it again :) ahhh. I feel just a bit more free when i have a bit of cash money on me (shiit eh, looks like i still got my writing skills, haha ;) only joking.)
Alright so i must confess, i haven't been spending my money as wisely as i COULD be, but i meen its my 1st paycheck in a LONG time. "what chu want me to do, i'm sawrrie". But seriously i almost forgot what shopping was like. Constant new clothes. Ahh boy it feels good. Lots of compliments, haha make me blush and ish, shoot, stop it ;) okay .. go 'head. Haha.
OH and lastly, BRAND NEW HAIR CUT!
SO i finally cut my long hair. Oh my. I've had long hair almost my whole life. Almost. I've always wanted to cut my hair short. I said it almost every summer of high school, but i always kept putting it off cause i kept saying that i wanted long hair for grad. But i went to grad this year had my hair long luscious and curly so why not for my grad have it completely different. Why not right? It'll be something different-ish, and new-ish. Haha, well at least not typical :)
She tied my hair with a rubber band, like a low pony-tail. Then she braided it, and then tied the end with another pony-tail. And then, she started to cut. All i could hear was the sound of my hair being cut off. It didn't effect me until the last cut. *CHOP* and my long hair was all gone. Right then my heart sank a little. Honestly, i felt it. Haha it was so weird. I was already shocked with how short it was when she cut it off, and then she started cutting more! Oh man, i just kept thinking to myself, it'll look better in the end. And well it did :D haha i was a little bit insecuurr about it at 1st, but the more compliments i got, the more i felt good about it. Each and everyone who has said anything about my hair made me feel a little it more better. Thank You! But the biggest thank you to my ATE. Awesome birthday gift. Totally worth the 70bucks. BIG UPS TO CHASTHY, the artist with the scissors and AXIS for the location.
Anyone know where i can donate my hair?
Anyways its hella late and i got to get some rest.
New Shit
New attitude
New look
New Me
& proud of it.
BRAND NEW SH*T
from a distance
off work.
off at a spontanious station
off topic
off noises
off in the distance
off lights in the sky
off my mind
i wish i was there
but then again
i rather not.
THANK YOUS
#0: JENZEN N. "wii/mansion"
(jenzen, you were a tad bit too early, haha but thank you)
___________________________
#1: "JOHN-JOHN" S.
#2: MIKHAIL L. "asparagus!"
I LOVE MY CARD <3>
#3: CHARLIE S. "birthday buddy!"
I need pepper spray!
KING GEORGE STATION
guy: hi there you filipina?
me: uhh, yes..
guy: where you going?
me: work
guy: oh i just got off from work, i'm a roofer
me: ohh...
guy: so how old are you?
me: old enough to ride the skytrain ( WTF?! why did i say that?)
*beep beep* (i recieve a text msg.)
guy: ohh, so you have a phone?
me: *nods head*
guy: you think i could call you sometime?
me: uh haha no its okay.. ( HAHA I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!)
TRAIN ARRIVES
me: *i walk in trying to get away from the guy, so i sit in a one seater*
guy: *guy sits right behind me*
me: *turns on my ds and starts listening to music and texting* (TRYING to look like i'm to busy to talk)
guy: so where do you work?
me: *ignor* ( i look through my phone, try to call SERENA, stupid girls phone is off >:(, looking through my phone again... I DON'T KNOW WHO I COULD CALL !!! )
guy: Yo Parray! *calls up his "flip" friend & taps me on the shoulder*
me: *ignor*
guy: here just talk to my friend on the phone he just came back from the philippines
me: uh, no thanks
guy: oh common! hes on the phone just say something
me: no, its okay
(I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO :S)
guy: *taps me on the shoulder AGAIN & passes me his phone* Here just add you're number in, common.
me: *ignor* (texting/listening to music)
after that time i think he just about got the msg that i didn't want him to call me nor talk to me. FINALY he got off at columbia. PHEW! Eff i need pepper spray! :(
i wasn't like this..
i wasn't like this before i met you
when we started seeing each other thats when we were cool
i think we were at our most chill and self state
and thats what made us want to be together
things were so fine and with the rough spots we went by
we'd argue and fight but we'd make up like it was no big
we got through the HARDEST sittuations.
you know all that stuff we've been through
i doubt that any of them have done
shit got real hard and it took forever to patch up..
well we thought we patched things up
it was more like a hole in the wall and we just
put a poster over it
yeah things may look good
but the hole is still there
and ever since.. you've somehow acted on it
things always came back up again
i really wish i could have done so much more
just to fix everything
but there was nothing left i could have done
things never went back to being the same
like the days we 1st chilled
especially those late nights with your cousin
and my sister
haha, those were good days
but things change,
people change.
but you can't control change
change controls you
its really hard to see that
we've both changed so much
i used to be chill
i used to not give a what
but being with you changed me
everything we been through
changed me
now i'm this.
and you.
you've changed too.
sometimes i don't know who you are
when you say those things you do
i try not to believe that you've become
that person
but then i realise that..
i've changed you too.
we've changed together.
but grew apart.
kinda ironic isn't it?
but who knows
maybe we'll change again
we'll change, but when we're apart
and maybe we'll grow back
... but together.
but we will leave that for the future
cause we still have to work with the present
i'll let the past be in the past.
and maybe tomorrow
will be a "new" start to the future.
___________________________________
nts: you can't change the past.
july22'08
and if you're loosing your high then smoke again
GET EM' HIGH!
_____________________________________________
i could go for one right now.
you know its kinda nice waking up to it, i guess. and walking around with it outside, and just seeing it every once in a while. but i've honestly haven't been able to spend time with it. like common, i'm trying why can't you? you're the only one that makes me truely happy, no questions ask, and you don't even have to do anything but come out. honest truth, i don't think i could ever be mad at you. i love you and miss you like crazy. seriously, where have you been dear sun? PLEASE SHINE DOWN ON ME :D Oh mr.sun
thats not the only thing i miss. i have no more time//energy to dance right now. you don't even understand how much it sucks. *sigh*
come 2 weeks, and sale season will be long gone :) i'll get a breezer and just chill, relax, and be out in the sun. come to think about it in 2 weeks i'll be older... though i know it, and people are mentioning it, it still hasn't hit me. still i contemplate on if i should or shouldn't celebrate this year. i really don't feel like planning anything. ahh.. right now, i stand at no.
1st day went by fast, but i'm...
DRAINED
g'night
"what chu want me to do? i'm saaaarrrrie!"
lets see, heart's feeling quite happy.
satisfaction=happiness
we'll k.i.t citysand
oh but should i even celebrate? who should i invite? where?... HONESTLY i kind of don't want to. i don't feel like planning or any of that stuff. i'd be nice, but i'm not feeling the planing part.
DAD GOT A NEW CAM! :) fun
tired.
I'M BACK :D
FINALLY
sh... damn what a break through for me :D
TMR?! OH MY GOSH nervs? only a little kind of
FUN?! yes please :D
WHY SO SERIOUS?!
Oh but i'm not, i'm just not showing how happy i really am :)
So i'm always the photographer, never the one in the picture. This is the only one i was in for today.. out of like a lot of other ones. & there's my big happy smile. NOT! Eh..
Today was fun. I was happy. I was really Happy. Sun was out, slept away the drama, eating my meals, getting out of the house, spending time with you, being a little active, had a slurpee, got a ride home, eff you transit, home before dad got mad. Yes, so today i say was a really good day. You know, just another summer day. I hope i get more days like this. No, actually, i know i'll get more days like this. Maybe sometimes better. Yeah, better ... :)
I LOVE WAKING UP TO THE SUN. One of the best feelings ever. Like being in love or something, you just feel SO happy. Things that automatically make me happy: The sun, chocolate, you, sweet surprises, music & dancing. <3
LAlalalalalala..lala.. i love summer.
Just another day of summer
___________________________________________________________
sht keeps getting more confusing errday but i be breaking my temptation
haha who talks like that? not me but its the truth
____________________________________________________________
Musiq soulchild - Forthenight
She: Yeah thats cool, i understand what you're saying, but i just got out of a sittuation.
He: Word
She: And i ain't really trying to get into anything serious right now, but we could chill. You'na mean?
He: Well how about this...
Let's pretend for one night, I'm the man in your life
And we do the things that lovers do
All the loving u like I give it to you just right
Theres nothing less than special when it comes to you
See what we have is understanding
That works so well for how we are
Cause neither of us has the heart to fall in love all over again
Even though I'm not your man and I know you're not my girl
But let's just act like it's that way tonight
Now I know u got your friends and you know I got some too
But let's just act like you're my lady tonight
Now what I like about you
Is that you're always so cool and comfortable whenever I'm around
You're some one that I can talk too
No matter what I'm going through
I call on you cuz I know you'll always be down
See what we have is so incredible
That we'll never find in anyone else
This thing that we share is so unbelievable
That I want you all to myself
Even though I'm not your man and I know you're not my girl
But let's just act like it's that way tonight
Now I know you got your friends and you know I got some too
But let's just act like you're my lady tonight
This song has the perfect beat for this kind of feeling :)
"No one ever really dies"
I hope that's true. This was said more than 5 times tonight, and i kept thinking of how it would feel to be up there. You know, not really alive but still living. I actually hope that i get to go there before all the people i know do. I say this because I know it'd be so hard for me to say good-bye.
Just like it was tonight. I didn't even know it was supposed to happen today. I wish i did though so at least i would know what i was in for. It took the longest time for me to get up there and see him. Seeing other people cry make me cry. My weak spot is my emotions... i'm so sensitive. I'm glad that all the people around me are still healthy. And i'm glad that he is in a better place now. I'll be praying for you. I just hope that all the rest will carry on and get though this okay.
RIP Lolo Leonardo
You will be missed
a trip before july
I want to go back on vacation :)
ASSHOLES (summer crew)
shitty ass problems
fck shit.
screw this...
FUCKING LOVING SUMMER
tin&kylie... :) goodtimes
lets have a not sleep over again.
love you girls
THATS ALL WE NEED, YEP.
look what you guys did to me!
I'M CUSSING. oh no :(
MI FINE DE SEMMANISIMA
= my super weekend
POINTFORM
thurs.
-*went to school/worked on doc.
-headed to gford
-*chilled with the boys
-wendys
-court
-*sickstylz! :)
-mcds
-homefree
fri.
-headed to jh
-chilled with the girls (imt)
-shopped for na's grad .ish
-swimming @ kitts
-ians palce
-*yellowreebokclasics;thanks (sere)na
sat.
-*did na' hair @ 5:30 in the am!
-*dragon boat fest. - face painted
-tired as hell!
-stayed home for the rest of the day
sun.
-Jolin's BDAY!
-chilled w/jerome before shift
-*dragon boat fest. - more face&body painting
-*visited by: serena&ian, miko&karl
-headed to ginos
-*bbq w/SICKSTYLZSYMPHONY
-homefree
* = ELABORATE
[thurs]
jel, our doc. is looking so sick. i'm proud of us :)
i never heard so much trivia on comiscs before. So much about MARVEL i never knew.
man you don't even understand how much i miss dancing. this skinny a** mirror in my room isn't enough
[fri]
okay, so it was me & serenas first time going into valuevillage, though i've been wanting to go for some time now, just not alone. we look around and i find this really goodlooking purse for 8bucks, hella cheep, and hella gorgeous! was planning to get it until serena and i check out all the funky shoes they got up on the racks. and what do you know, serena finds a pair of bright yellow shoes in the kids section, just as we were about to make fun of how bright it was, we realise they are high-top reebok classics. & what do you know, THEY WE'RE A PERFECT FIT! we practically jacked the shoes cause theywere only $6.99! thank you serena for finding and buying me last years birthday present. haha i love you bestfriend! (as if we don't say that enough, right?) HAHA!
[sat]
man for one practice on friday night, we did a pretty good job on picking the hairstyle. honestly its was a little fluke on how good i made you're hair look, especially considering we did it at 6 in the am. when do we ever sleep early, and wake up early? NEVER! i guess that was another 1st for us. anyways you looked gorgeous!
oh my gosh, little kids are SO CUTE. i met so many interesting kids from facepainting. some had the highest voices in the world, with the biggest eyes, and the strangest questions and the cutest remarks. it was funner than i expected.
[sun]
like i said before, so many interesting people. only the people from sanfran asked for big body paintings. one guy asked for a butterfly on his back, haha it turned out nicer than i thought :) yay me. i'm pretty sure he liked it, he said he would even have that as a tattoo, haha! another said he wanted a dragon! oh my gosh, i have no clue how to draw a dragon rather than paint one. but i still made an attempt. wasn't bad, again turned out better than i thought haha. yay for me.
to the people to made it out to visit, thanks :) haha it honestly made it so much better. last hour of my shift was the best! i painted snoopy&woodstock on mikos abdomen, painted a lizard on karls forearm (i think) and put tats on all of us. haha gts.
maaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, sickstylz bbq was so dope, but we were missing SO many people! that was a seriously long ass play-list with the craziest beats! sessioning like thaat.. i felt like i fell in love all over again! you feel so free, and so right when you hit thoughs beats. HAHA GINO our new move, we're so going to battle one day ! SERIOUSLY! mann, oh mann, oh mann! can't wait for friday ! WOO OPEN STUDIO!!!
What made my whole weekend was the sun peaking through more often than it has in the past few weeks.
I LOVE YOU SUN, please stay all summer.
my sunlight on a rainy day
wow! I don't think i'll get another chance to see something like that again. Unless serena & i go see it when we go to vegas! But i have to say that was amazing! I loved every min of it. Its something you can't exactly explain, you just have to be there to know what i mean. My favourite part was the midget lady was floating from 6 GINORMOUS helium filled ballons and she just walked/hopped on the crowds hands as they raised them when she was coming by. My mom & i had fun :)
Sun's out; now it feels like SUMMER
1) Happy Fathers day! - bbq/rockband was fun with the males of the family, but the real celebration is tmr.
2) Congratulations Jamie Jane, I can't believe you're leaving at the end of august. But know for a fact that I'll be visiting. Your celebration was fun. Frick I want a lap-top, and A LOT of free money from strangers.
*on the phone*
p1: So what are you doing?
p2: ...
-long silence-
p2: Who me?
p1: no I'm asking my door...
"There's your sign"
Haha that's good hick-comedy. I'm going to miss just watching TV for hours with you.
3) SYTYCD pt.2 - The new "jabba" group from the west side with all the breaker boys got me thinking. Before i actually saw them perform i thought they were cocky-ish, and i wasn't too fond of them. But i changed my mind once i saw them break. Okay, it was pretty damn hot, kind of a turn on :P I think i like them :)
Sucks for Jeff Vs team. I thought they'd go further but after watching their routine compared to the others changed my mind. Too bad.
4)CSI - i don't like the re-runs after school. I've seen all of them like 5 times by now. Sundays are a good day to watch because of the marathon, and late at night on weekdays. Guess I'll stick to that since it seems like I'm missing out on the newer episodes. I'm not liking the New Guy. Grisom's "replacement" or something like that. He's so sketch. His stupid flashbacks ruin the feng shui of the show, which is why i like the show. So the change sucks, they should just keep the CSILV squad as is. No more new characters please.
5) I shouldn't talk when I'm intoxicated. Sorry.
6) Opened up the water colours, and experimented a bit. Eh not bad, but i think when i plan it out like i do in class it ends up SO much better. Mom's framing the one i finished during class, I'm still waiting for it to come back. I should start getting together my portfolio :) - Excited for school
______________________________________________________
Picture this...
There's a cliff.
Bottom of the cliff is a farm
Top of the cliff there's the city
Edge of the cliff is a boulder blocking the city
Now how would you feel if you were standing on the edge of the cliff waiting to get to the city because you rather not live in the farm?
You see the farm is safe. You do your work, you get things done, but its just not as great as living in the city would be.
In the city you got everything, things are better than safe, things in the city feel more right.
Sure there are going to be some political problems and such but you deal with it.
But see I'm at the edge of the cliff. I met my halfway just by climbing that cliff, but all it is now is the waiting game. Waiting for something to happen for that big boulder to move out of my way so i can get to the city. Climbing there was hard enough, but waiting for something to happen is so much harder than you may think. You'll never know when that something you've been waiting for comes, or even if it will come at all. You stay there and you starve, but you don't want to miss your chance. You start getting impatient. Everything starts getting to you. You think about going back down the cliff, but you rather wait and TRY to be patient rather than miss your chance.
But for some reason you start to question everything again and again, even though you KNOW you're going to stay. It may be cruel, but its what i chose.
Think about it.
what's with all this fine print?
when you see fine print, it's all that stuff
you don't want to read, but you got to read.
the "check of these.."
the "guarantees"
the "this is your own warranty"
the "make sure of this.."
and "don't do these.."
while you listen to Lupe sing "stack that cheese"
you're reading this
but you mumble these
words that you don't really seize
or care to think about
so you just breeze
through the fine print
that all just a tease.
-1.24.08/11.52-12.03
Teach me
first and formost i'd like to say...
I'm proud of you.
You walked the stage,
you officially graduated,
you finished highschool.
stay on the optomistic
side of things.. Love You.
_____________________________
i wish i could be gone for a while :)
i missed it when i was on vacation.
*sigh*
you only get it once in a life time
Prom
Yeah it wasn't my prom night, but it took me so long just to do my own hair & make up. But it was worth it in the end. I'm really proud of you. Its funny how you kept stressing over credits when you already had more than enough. Each of those credits earned by every class you've been in since grade 8, or you could look at is as 5 years. You worked hard throughout high school and this was your weekend to celebrate. I hope it was just as good as you expected it to be, you deserve it. Hopefully i was a good-enough escort for you. I really did enjoy myself, and i'm glad i stayed for 2nd semester. I have no idea what it would have been like if i didn't stay, and i don't care to imagine. I know i've only been in your life for 2 years, but it almost seems like i've been there ever since, and I hope those 2 years means just as much to you as it does to me. I guess what i'm trying to say is..
thank you for being a big part in my life, and congratulations.
its just not working
you know this whole under pressure, last min planning, late payments, contradicting arguments, over lapping plans, force of rebel just isn't working for me.
i honestly can't wait till these couple weeks are over.
i don't even care right now, i just want to get it over and DONE with.
with or without the fun, rain or shine, just let it pass already.
this stupid position is making me so angry. by the end of june i believe i'll be .01 balance, stuck in the house, looking out the window watching the rain pour down while thinking about how badley global warming is hitting us since it would be july in about a week or so.
____________________________________________________
i need more practice on the road.
i don't feel like celebrating this year.
i just want the sun. please!
i think its the only think that doesn't make me mad. sun.
hard to please
If you could...
... take away one feeling, what would it be?
I would take the nervous feeling away.
__________________________________
i'm probably not, cause i'm too short.
how fking great is that.
*sigh*
Good Love
Hey, I'm looking for... "Good Love yeaah"
Met a lot of women now they all tore
Ran through 'em all but I'm just not sure...
"Good love, I like that baby"
Yea... We gon' fight but I think that's just... "Good Love yeaah"
1st Class flights, almost home but I... "Just can't keep still"
almost home free
may long weekend, was hella long, & i LOVED it
-ians burday, tan po po
took forever, but food was good
-1st drop-in, at drive w/marc leslie & stew
got icecream from MARBLE SLAB
(peach icecream w/frozen strawberries ;SO GOOD)
hit up engrish bay & had some greek
-birthdays bbq with the cousins
party with 1/4th of sss
-aunties birthday brunch
MAD shopping in poco :)
ANOTHER weekend gone by, and we're just that much closer to summer. can the weather just stay like this please? Lola's birthday last night was good. Happy 79th! stay healthy <3 The day was so nice.. it was warm all day. not too hot, not to cold.
i got less than a month less.. *sigh
i can do this.
when its over, i'll be homefree
at least until sept...
Me? a sullavin girl ?
we'll see how i fit in.
moving houses will be the worst part
.. not exactly looking forward to that
i'm sorry :(
I'll still visit! i promise :D
___________________________________________
dads back from hawaii tmr.
i want to go there :(
why do i even question it?
i know it just leads to no good.
FCK!
i just want to get thingss straight
and know whats going on.
the heats getting to me, and so is the time
it's all on you mr. weather man
How Far?
selah
and what for ?
*inhale*
this was worse than i thought... i can't believe it actually carried this far. but because its such a big deal i've some how automatically grown to cope & hide behind this mask that doesn't even exist. i messed up bad, and i know it too, but i really am trying. just wait, give me a little more time. i'll show you, i will, i promise. i knew it too, and i kept pushing my limit/bending the rules. i did all of that, and what for? i guess i did the things i did looking for happiness? yet in the end i question all the things i've been doing and ask myself "was it really really worth it?". you know i don't regret any of it, but i'm not proud of any of it either. "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger" .. i know it will, but its a really fragile topic right now.
1st priority... clean up my act
then i'll find the real happiness i've been looking for
*exhale*
_____________________________________________
other than the babies drama...
-full day of school
-FINALLY DONE MY DUNNY PAINTING :D
-LOVING the sun.. it makes me happy
-sadly still sick
-chilled with serena
-took care of "casandra" our baby ;)
-played rockband
-ate
-tv
-ian came over
-bbt/food
-more rockband
-late night chill
missed you guys
the baby of the family
how many times have you thought to yourself "you won't/don't understand.." ?
i'm pretty sure more than once.
there's a lot of things you don't know
and i know that one of those things are that I was actually trying to do better
and be more at home, and all that good stuff for you guys.
but then it was like i was back in that "circle"
being teamed up on.
can't believe i heard the things i did.
your making it even harder then it already is
by asking those unnecessary questions
you know it too so i don't know why you keep going.
what's left to do?
i don't know, i'm so confused.
these are the symptoms
headaches
sleepless nights
homework till the a.m.
stress
twitches
*cough cough*ahem*
expensive phone bill
wet phone screeen
unable to speak right
bell rings
walk away
loss of appetite
I need a prescription
Since the 28th...
I think i really need to get on that english homework i've been pushing back lately, but right now i'll just finish what i started.
30th - Collabo was fun. Vince, or should i say Taxi. Haha that's what you get for getting your N before everyone else :) Chilled with jel & played RockBand! "CitySand"
1st - Chadley's 17th Birthday! "meenat" / Sickstylz practice, where i got flipped accidentally and banged my head into anthony's leg! Thanks a lot! Mouth with braces + leg = blood & cuts... now =kanka sores :(
2nd - PRO D! Went downtown w/jel. Saw quite a bit of people while we were out.
3rd - Saturday was a "spend time with my parents" kinda day. Went out with mom in the am looking for grad shoes.. no luck. But we're checking the states next weekend. Got mc Ds & dairy queen, haha i was so happy :) Once i got home i left for a date... with my dad! And we went to the theaters & watched IRON MAN! Oh my goodness i'm in love with the iron man guy & the the whole movie in general. SO good. GO WATCH IT! I had fun with my dad :)
4th - Sickstylz... hardcore cardio/workout sesh. Haven't worked out like that since.. last years PE class when we'd have collabo/work out wednesdays. I really hope i don't feel it in the morning. Got home had bbq with dad & the gf, and my brother came over too. After dinner obviously we played rockband. It takes 1 dad and 1 son to play the drum's on medium, haha. It was fun.
For some reason it feels like the things i've done like a day or two ago seems so far away now. Weird. Anyways i'm glad i've been staying home more.. and spending time with the family. I'm try not to get my dad mad at me all the time. I think its working.
Still i've been stressing a lot lately. Why exactly, i don't know. Maybe i just need more sleep. My eating habits are fine.. well actually i've been eating a lot, but it's all good. I heard that if you don't get your 8 hours of sleep your systems all messed up and then it starts effecting your eating habits/diet, and makes your body crave things like foods that have a lot of sugar to keep you awake. That's why you crave for sweets because your body will start wanting the things it thinks it needs to get energy your going to need for the day. (i hope that sentence made sense..) I think that's whats been happening to me. I'm always wanting sweets, but i don't care cause i'm not really gaining anything haha. But i think i need to start gaining.. & growing. Stupid feet are so damn small i can't find any heels that fit me. That's why i'm having trouble finding grad shoes. *sigh... why do i have to be so small :(
thing's i've been working on:
-catch-up for english
-freestyling
-self time / sleeping
-staying home/ or just making my dad happy with me
-dunny painting
-us
Most of its getting better. Mostly the last 3. & i'm satisfied with that :)
That's all it's about. Happiness.
__________________________
Up coming events...
-jerome's birthday (6th)
-kuya's birthday (7th)
-last school dance (8th)
-MOTHER'S DAY (11th)
Till then, ¡Ciao!
Amazing. I keep going back to that same place, though i know so much better. But, this time i'm actually going to do something about it. I'm going to have my fun, without any restrictions. No more holding back for nothing. I'm doing this for myself, and for no other reasons. I'm not sorry for doing this, cause i know there's no reason to be. I'm getting away. Trust.
________________________________________
AALIYAH JAI RIVERA'S BAPTISM
More in detail soon enough...
{It's late, and I have school tomorrow, damnit}
the weekend
-new ps3!
Thats right, my daddy bought a ps3 friday night. He really wanted it for blueray, but i'm waiting on games. So far we only got this one racing one, cause it was free. But you know, we just got it. Yay!
-sorry justin
Yeah all us SSS surrey kids wanted to go, we just had no ride. Exactly why i can't wait to start driving! But about that joke, i'm SO sorry. I did mean it when i said it, it was just funny so i was laughing at the same time. Haha it was pretty funny though. JP&Jerome made me do it. Haha sorry.
-lola is back
Finally! Family get togethers always a little different when your not here. BUT your back, so that cool. I'll see you soon.
-still a chance for me to go to Worlds/Vegas!
(no further information until i get a notice)
-earls party
What a night, huh? i haven't been intoxicated since... well lets just say its been a hell of a while, which is a good thing. Met a lot of new people. Earl, don't you love your golden candle? :) Thanks. Stupid break down, but talked it out. Thanks Joe/Queen. Chilling by the fire was the best part. It was like the after party for just the kids who were crashing. Crashed, with the other 20 billion people (hyperbole). People were everywhere. Good party Earl, good party.
-sick stylz symphony
Next morning of earls party, & we all woke up so early. Bussed with Tyrel, Moben, Young, & Antonio. Went to subway, met with Anthony & headed to richmond. Yes we weren't late :) Doing a krump routine so early from the next day of a party.. shoot that was tough. Almost made it all the way through practice, but burnt out at the end. Ride home, thanks g for not driving like a mad man this time :). Made it home safely, showerd & crashed.
-strawberries & cream <3
Been eating this every day :) YUM
Animal Cruelty is not art!
Please watch this video.
Sign this petition to stop this "artist" from repeating this horrible "work of art"
PLEASE HELP STOP HIM
http://www.petitiononline.com/ea6gk/petition-sign.html
I already have, & i'm No.257275
days; just wasting away
been so out of it latley. so tired, so dead, so repetative.
exhausted all the time, all day. i think i need to start drinking energy drinks if i want to stay awake the whole day.
talking about grad to the parents is offcially taboo. i know its got to be done, but i'm really pushin it.
oh dance how you bring me pain but at the same time pleasure
why is everything the same? so repetative, so bland, so yesterday. what happend to fun, surprises, change? i can't wait till this school year is over. i cant wait to get outta there, go somwhere new. it'll be one of those "new beginning" kind of things. gr.12 better be awesome, or else i'm gonna be really sad.
room is so clean. schools been so organized, its been so easy(now that i'm actually attending classes). families just fine. self..? got pretty burnt out.
braces make me speak infrofer engris. effing backwire!
its like i'm givin up, but i haven't said so. fallin out.. acually, its more like "w.e."
what the heck your back again? >=( that was fast
good part to this: the sun.
how i longed for your shine
wasting away till the return of something new
the hills
"you know, i just don't think i can wait forever until heidi wants to get off 'relationship vacation'"
Thank you spencer
what the..
so durring the day i was all..
bchy, sorry!
but for some reason i'm pretty
happy right now.
what the heck?
i don't understand.
oh well.
gotta go read
adios
sick stylz
its good to be back
up & running
dancing like that again
we ripped it up today
screwed up?
who currs!
it was all fun
& such a big work out
so many new faces
and many i haven't seen in a while
its the start of something completly new
we're gonna rep vancity
bringing back that oldschool flavour
next practice a bit of pop&locking
come up with new choreo
i'm gonna be back in shape in NO time
screw bus' & skytrain
CARPOOL!
i'm glad to be back on my dancing feet
its all in the name
SICK STYLZ
new schedual to follow
add ins on tuesday?
wednesday fitting
make some bucks
relax
reeeeeeeeeead
making the most of it
astrology
April 4
Leo: Avoid capricious, disrespectful or out of place reactions, and try to amend this kind of conduct and extreme attitudes, always cultivating a moderate and balanced behavior.
April5
Leo: You tried, and nope, you still can't stand a certain someone. You gave it your best shot, so don't feel bad.
I love my Ho
Serena HO that is.
How good are we at waisting a whole day?
Well, lets look back shall we?
WE WATCHED THE...
-asian version of Shutter
-& asian version of One Missed Call
w/sherman&anthony
-Step it up 2
-the 1st episode of The Hills :)
Ate food
Watched TV
Chilled with Ian
Went to langly & worked out
then drank Red Bull (stupid move)
Ate MCDs
Talked
& Didn't sleep till way to early in the am
Verdict : Very!
_________________________________
Asian movies are WAY more scarey than the american versions.
I miss getting scared to scarey movies :)
Thats that GOOD SHII
go with what ever comes my way.
seriously it sucks when plans change, i think its my pet peeve. yeah no more making plans for me. i'll just go with what ever comes my way.
last few days of spring break not so great. maybe tomorrow will be better.
3rd wheel sucks. it never bothered me before, maybe its just cause i missed you. should i tell them? no, let them have their fun.
new project being worked on :)
old project coming along
new conversations always fun
doing alot of things to get me going
yay :)
Oh those americans.
Day was turning into night. Their family came up all the way from LA/San Diego. Akward? Just a bit at first. BUT it was a their family party, so eventually we had to settle in with each other. Jed "Jedi", Andrea "Dudes" ;) & the little brother.
"Hi auntie, hi uncle".. Yeah their not family their just your familys friends haha.
An obvious topic.. Canada vs US engrish.
-pop / soda
-washroom / bathroom
-off the wall / against the wall
-pronunciation of "against" haha!
-etc..
Its always fun meeting new people, especially teaching each other new things. Games are so funny, especially when you put them all together & someone has the hardest time figuring it out haha!
"Listen did the dog die? *BANG* Who killed the dog? How many times did the dog die?"
Playing those games were fun before, but teaching them to new people, and putting all the games together was historical!
-*fart noise* .. what was that all about ? ¿
-simply drawing, you belong in LA, you should move there
-Dudes stop texting your boyfriends bestfriend on your 5 months ! haha
-what its already 3: in the am?
Later americans.
Till we meet again..
____________________________________
stayed home.. damnit. Missed the meeting >:(
LOVE taking naps durring the day when the sun is just shining through the window on your face, in your warm bed, everything's organized, and you just feel SOOooOooOOO happy/relaxed/chill/good.
Dinner with nicasio's family @ the Jumanji house ;) . JACOB, you little cutie! Food was insane. Oh look my nails are pink.
Ahh good day.
LADIES DAY/NIGHT TMR.
Just something to look forward to :)
Let me ramble..
I want to teach so bad.
Seriously serena, we're doing it this summer, I SWEAR :D !
I love dancing.
I miss dancing.
I wanted to teach, and compete a duo, or trio, or even a group.
Oh wait I am in one.
I just wanted to teach..
______________________________
-So its taking all spring break. BUT i'm still paciently waiting.
-grad...
-i don't like strangers in my house
-my phone is messed
-I love dunies, but i love free ones better
GOTs this........................................WANTs this.
-notebooks are so useful
-i don't think i've taken one picture this spring break :S
-i got fun dip today. i haven't gotten it in so long
-"my last 1st kiss" tamia live, SO GOOD!
______________________________
Yeah the days not over..yet, but so far it hasn't been the greatest. Why make plans if your not going to go through with them? *sigh*
Huh i forgot what the date was till now.
Oh my..
Oh my...i strongly dislike when plans suddenly change
& i strongly dislike when i waist my money on stupid shh.
stick to the plan.
Oh my ... how could i forget about the 1st group with their hidden identity (masks). You might be thinking of Jaba.. but no, this group Prepix had no idea about Jaba, especially being on the other side of the world (practically). But their mask, was a one time thing, and their creativity is so original. You'll see what i mean with the 2nd video. <3
How attractive
Cassius99, love this song.
a day in the break of spring
I get so nervous is not even funny. But i did it :) yay me. Wednesday here i come :$
Guildford is almost like my hometown. Went over to a friends place, got kinda bored but then he showed me book and i discovered a new (to me) /old artist. Yeah stencil graffiti is already cool, but the way Banksy does it... he just takes it to another level. So much inspo. He's so talented, but all the credits goes to an anonymous Banksy. Genius.
Sitting in the food court with the 3 others, and this mother and her baby sit at the table next to us. I look over at the little boy, and he looks and me and has the cuttest smile on his face. The weird but cute thing about it was that his smile was like one of those smiles that guys do when they're trying to hit on a girl. It was so STRANGE, but so so so CUTE. He looked over at miko, and then gave him the most evil look. Crazy, i know! But the four of us kept looking at him and he just kept smiling. You could just see that he Loved the attention. He was so cute, especially with his little young Jackson curls. Adorable.
[Lets see.. bus; catch up; skytrain; reminisce; bus; rockband; eat; rockband; chill; poetry slam]
My first live Poetry Slam @ Cafe Deux Soleil. I was so stoked for the whole day to see what it would be like. I kinda had high expectations, but i thought it was pretty cool from seeing, listening, and being at this Cafe with hard core poets. These people that performed have no shyness for being infront of an audience and putting it ALL OUT there. Mostly all of them used free-verse, and they really knew what they we're saying. I loved the way their range of vocabulary was so unlimited and the way they just put it all together. It was pretty crazy. But finally, Mr. Arevalo had his turn. He was so nervous before he got on, but when he started speaking into the mic, he owned his words, and sucked you into his story. "Mr. Imagination" became an image in your mind. I'm proud of you Francis. You've gone a long way since the 8th grade. Its gonna be hard topping your 1st performance. *snap snap snap snap*
_____________________________________________________
Another good day.
For the moment
Is it that time ? Or am i just tired?
I think i'm just tired
It must be, because the sun is out
but the mood ain't right.
Its just the begining
Whaddup spring break?
How does spring break get any better?
Oh yeah, NO homework. Already such a good start.
Happy Birthday Karl!
Boston pizza has dumb waitresses, but we also have kinda dumb friends, it's okay Stanley. Go ahead, tell Karl the surprise. Over all, food was good. We're we supposed to wait? Oops, so sorry :S. Went over to the mall. Wow, FREE DINNER & CANDY. Free anything is actually pretty good. Hope you enjoyed the rest of the night Karl.
--------------------------------------
I know i've been planning alot of things with people and to hang out this spring break, but i didn't plan to see so many people the 1st day. Especially in the small town of Guildford. Good place to be. After running into running into a missed-friend (kucha#2) the rest of my plans for the night changed. Man i totally forgot how good Coyote Ugly is. The love story in that movie is really cute. Oh and about forgetting things, i almost forgot about Passion. "Well Done" was like the song of the night. I don't know exactly how to explain but, songs like that are so... heartfelt and in a way inspiring.
___________________________
Hope you know that we are getting through this, and we both have been taking all of this at the right pace and tempo. But I don't know what happen the other day. Things weren't clicking. I don't know what it was, or if it was anything at all. It was just a speed bumb, thats all. Hope your good with this. I just want to get by this, and keep going with where we were at. We know we can do this, because we've been through way worst before. Anyways.. just thought you should know what i've thinking.
Just to busy
I've been to busy for alot of things right now. For example, using BS (fyi bs=blogspot).
How'd it become so hectic anyway?
Daily routine?
Now just an old lost mean,
But a mean that once ment to keep things organized.
With the obstacles that have been put before me
They hold me down, but at the same time hurt thee,
& they've now become the everyday goal, just to get by.
eff it, i'm tired i'll finish some other time.
to busy right now
had a crazy good day. and i was looking forward to going to bed.
last minuet change of planns, kinda just ruiened my mood for the
night.
yah tmr.
If you don't want to be here then leave already. It's not like you show your face around anways. Once you get here you cloister yourself and stay there. You don't appriciate the food here, you don't do anything around here, and you treat him like you don't need him, so why are you still here? I don't appreciate you walking around here doing the things you do. And you certainly don't appreciate the things we do around here. I feel sorry for him because you once made him happy, and now your taking him for granted.
current mood: muy buena
Yeah i miss the summer, the sand, the water, and especially the sun. I can't believe i actually got a sun burn last summer. What kinda flip gets a sunburn? I'm not sure, but this summer i'll be currful :) Sunburns hurt way to much, i'm not going to go through the sticky a** lotion and sleeping unevenly again!I'm so glad the sun is starting to come out. Its been gone for too hella damn long. 6 more months & 11 more days. "Watch out, cas is on the road!" Yeeeah. Summer should be good. Summer should be reaaal guuuuud. BUT plenty of good things to come before then. Like...
-Gets a job
-School, duh!
-Grad?
-PRACTICE driving ...ALOT
-Spring break conf. plan (?)
-Take curr of my shh
-Dance stuff
-Goal of finally finishing my painting
Many places to go, lots to do, much to take care of.
____________________________________
Poetry contest? Free entry? Free prizes? Okay.
love song
Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
You made room for me but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands
I'm unusually hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me
I'm not gonna write you a love song'cause you asked for it'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song'cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today
I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
And my heavy heart sinks deep down under you and
Your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry
Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am
I'm not gonna write you a love song'cause you asked for it'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song'cause you tell me it's
Make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today
Promise me that you'll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone'cause I believe there's a way you can love me
Because I sayI won't write you a love song'cause you asked for it'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song'cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
Is that why you wanted a love song'cause you asked for it'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song'cause you tell me it's make or breaking this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that
There's a reason toWrite you a love song today
When you're angry, some things are left better unsaid.
But when you keep things unsaid, you do things you might
end up regreting later. Like ripping up something that once
ment something to you. And then throwing it away in the
garbage at school on purpose because you know you wont
be able to get it back. Or wanting to talk to someone you
shouldn't be talking to. Or do things that you shouldn't be
doing.It's hard to have control over your feelings. Especially
when they are that strong.
___________________________________
You know it would be nice if you could be there, and actually
BE THERE. Moments like that are not very often. When in
need of support, it'd be nice to get a little. I needed that, at
that specific moment. But you were too busy.
___________________________________
Oops. Too late now.
you know?
what's valentines?
oh yeah.. that. Why don't we just show love every day of the year?
I'm not hating but i must admit.. i'm a sucker for that romantic stuff. Not that corney stuff, don't get me wrong, but the sweet surprises'. It just hits me, right in the heart.
________________________
YUP i hate you. Why can't you just drop it? You're not going to believe me no matter what i say, so just stop trying to make it a big deal, take what you want, and leave me alone? I can't STAND you sometimes. Your like that annoying fly that buzzes around you that you can't see or get rid of. Ahh grow up & don't get mad at me for something you did 1st, and worst. I know every one can be hypocritical at times but you just crossed the line with it. & i can't believe you actually told on me to mom & dad, and called my friends. Ridiculous.
_________________________
Needed to get out today. Once again good chill night with the 2 favorites. Haha as always, Ian pays for everything. But we'll make it up to you. One day you'll see. Mann it's good to reminice about the good times. Especially when we all just met. Those nights were the best. Can't believe how late we were allowed to stay out. 2 sometimes 3 in the am? We had it good, but we were so young? Crazy, i know, but fun. Days like that would never be the same again. We hit our highest point that from everything else on, just felt like it was going downwards. & it has, but we got to the point where all we need is what we have now.
_________________________
NTS: get a better book for doodles
& possibly more tools
LOUD
Loud music.. sounds better. Loud talking.. kind of annoying. Loud yelling.. scarey.
Stop yelling. Please?
My 1st ever
DANCE HERO: JOE <3
A dancer is only as good as their choreo. In this case, thats no problem for Joe.
parable - I AM DONKEY
"One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried pietrously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old, that the well needed to be covered anyway and that it just wasn't work retrieving the donkey. So he invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazment, he quietended down. A few shouvel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that his his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off, and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off! "
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off, and take a step up.
Got em'
A: Film/Video 11/12
B: Espanol 11
C: Engrish 11
D: Art 11/12
SO HAPPY I DROPPED THEATRE.
...weirdos.
blk A&D should be fun. Don't think its possible for both of us to be skipping those blocks. I gotta keep that in mind.
ACCEPTANCE
I accept the way I am,
though I know I'm not all great.
I accept what has been put before me,
even though things are a struggle.
I accept the things I have,
because I know many that take theirs for granted.
Acceptance...
one step closer to happiness.